stop eating my carpet

stop eating

stop eating my carpet

by the cooler penguin27 October 12, 2020

Rolling Out the Red Carpet

While participating in anal sex, punch your partner in the back of the head. At this exact moment pull out as hard as you can when the rectum seizes your snausage. With any luck the rectum will be pulled out. Now just walk backwards slowly while you "Roll out the red carpet."

I rolled out Sally's red carpet yesterday, and now she has poos sporatically.

by Kingjared420 November 14, 2004

Lesbian Vegan Carpet Muncher

A lesbian who is tired of eating pussy, but will not give into dick. A Vegan Carpet Muncher may eat it sometimes, but may just look the other way. She may eat the occasional steak just to not eat pussy. A Vegan Carpet Muncher has troubles admitting she is a Carpet Muncher, after being a Vegan for so long, she may just give up and be just a regular Carpet Muncher. To spot a Vegan Carpet Muncher just watch for the girls who never eat any pussy, only say, kissing, dildo playing, never any licking of any such.

Christie- So I hear your a Carpet Muncher?
Lori- No, I'm a Vegan Carpet Muncher.
Christie? A what?
Lori- I don't like pussy.
Christie- So then your not a lesbian?
Lori- No, I am. I just don't like pussy.
Christie- So your a Lesbian Vegan Carpet Muncher?
Lori- Yep!!

by Delagodo January 10, 2012

The Yankee carpet bang

typically used as a sex move in a Yankee basement by a young Yankininianite with his first girl...the progression
1.) he whips it out into her eye appologizes franticlly
2.) he then gets sucked off for a whole 10 seconds before almost blowing into her mouth
3.)pulls out and procedes to try and find her vagina but has not fucking clue whta the hell it looks like because he Likes the Yankess
Finnally 4.)he blows his load all over her mothers beautiful french rug after assuming it felt good enough to be the vagina....no where that was anywhere actually near the vaj.

Mike thought ha was the shit cause he got laid by a rug....the Yankee carpet bang

by Billiam1234987 February 13, 2008

Mary Poppins's Carpet Bag

A cavernous hole Big gash A clown's pocket A wizard's sleeve

She has a fanny like Mary Poppins's Carpet Bag!

by Chilly Beef March 13, 2019

good carpet side manners

A very good cunnophile (oral sex)--respectful, attentive and thorough.

Gal 1: My hook up last night gave the best oral sex I've ever had. I'm going back for more.
Gal 2: Sounds like they had good carpet side manners.

by mpm July 23, 2014

three bean carpet salad

When a man eats three kinds of beans for lunch the previous day then when having sex with a woman he shits it all out in between her legs so it get's mushy and sticky, then they get on the ground and gives her ass-fuck from behind untill he hits the anal nerve that disperses all the shit in your colin causing a mass shit-sex-fest. Then while he's giving it to her mercenary style they role up in a carpet forcing themselves to be in a constant rage-circle of od-fashion sex. Usually resulting in a later day vaginal infection.

John gave it to his wife the night before. then he wanted to give her something special for their 40th aniversary so he pulled out his old three bean carpet salad.

by n26 October 17, 2007