Skip to main content

Corporate Cosplay

The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.

In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.

The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.

Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"

"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
by No Man's Skyfall December 15, 2016
mugGet the Corporate Cosplay mug.

corporateer

In the space game Star Citizen players can create their own organizations (guilds). One of the biggest and oldest player run organizations is "the Corporation". Members of that organization are called corporateers.
Ben: New corporateer reporting for duty.
Weyland: Welcome to the Corporation! :-)
by Corporateer January 10, 2017
mugGet the corporateer mug.

corporatunistic

The willingness to pander to your corporate overlords at every whim, demand or need.
The union leader corporatunisticly endorsed the candidate, with the expectation of quid pro quo.
by littlebrownduck February 5, 2017
mugGet the corporatunistic mug.

Corporal fowler

Corporal fowler is the supreme being on planet America.
Corporal fowler may i request to go to the head.
by Stevenspielbum February 10, 2017
mugGet the Corporal fowler mug.

cordoroy elvis

A person that should have used a condom based off all the trouble maternity caused in his life.

"Cordoroy Elvis should have never gotten Sharren pregnant, he's better off alone."
"Cordoroy Elvis should have never gotten Sharren pregnant, he's better off alone."
by Aakbar Alakhuhm April 2, 2017
mugGet the cordoroy elvis mug.

corporal carpet

Someone who decides to randomly get a bowl-cut and dye their hair black for absolutely no reason
Pretty sure Daniel just corporal carpeted his hair last night
by duemoturion June 10, 2017
mugGet the corporal carpet mug.

Corporate Hitchhiking

corporate Hitchhiking is a term for going job to job, temp job to temp job with hope for all this jumping to add up to a solid high paying job/ career. All this time counting on your resume with its stunning large set of skills and items that are usually useless. You may feel its impressive having 3 to 8 pages of info but to any possible employer its shows you cant hold a job down
Jake: do you believe you can win a job with that 6 page resume.

Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list
by Theamazinggeek June 27, 2017
mugGet the Corporate Hitchhiking mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email