one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter

Confliction. Also, you’re not automatically funny by putting this into Urban Dictionary

Guy1: one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter
Guy2: You’re an idiot.

by Meep beep June 12, 2021

One Cruce

A unit of weight equivalent to approximately 6 fully filled hydroflasks or a bull calf at one month of age. About 223 lbs.

John: Damn, that's one big boy over there.
C.P.: Ya, that kid must weigh a full one cruce, and that kid Tman must weigh half a Cruce.

by wet spider January 23, 2020

one-arm-driver

a driver who drives only with one arm while the other arm is either holding or groping a girl.

The police are looking for the one-arm-driver just like you.

by wordwatcher April 23, 2012

Waste One’s Breath

An idiom, Used when someone says something that will probably be ignored.
See also: Waste your breath.

Person 1: Omg! That girl’s hair looks ridiculous! Just look at it..
Person 2: don’t waste your breath talking about her hair, she probably likes it!
————————————————————————————————————————-
Example 2
Person 1: I think your clothes have stains on it..
Person 2: Don’t waste one’s breath! I’ll change my clothes.

by Enter Your Pseudonym Here June 20, 2022

Ons

On Satan. Instead of saying On god you say On satan.

Me: "Yo her ass thick asf"
Bro: "Ons bro"

by Alissa Sham April 9, 2021

Love for one's parent(s)

Unconditional love one has for their parents no matter what.

After everything there's still tons of love for one's parent(s).

by PineappleJuice May 14, 2015

polish the one eyed goat

To beat ones man meat. Most of the time thoroughly and vigorously.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to polish the one eyed goat while going 80 in a 18 wheeler?

by Sparky870 October 15, 2020