Turtle Burglar

A person who has to poop so badly that others notice. Like a turtle head is about to emerge.

"Why is that old lady fidgeting around like that?"
"She's doing the poop dance because she's a turtle burglar"

by Rock Tomskin & Notorious GREG August 2, 2012

Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

piss turtle

Surprise moment when a guy is pissing ( after having to hold it for an extremely long time ) and at the height of the stream he has an urge to shit. The brown turtle head wants out. Now begins the coordinated effort in continuing to piss while keeping from shitting yourself.

Dude I was at a wedding and after about the fifth toast I was about to piss myself. I got to the bathroom and out of now where I had a piss turtle situation on my hands.

by Irish don June 26, 2014

feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011

Cut The Turtle

“Cut The Turtle” (verb): To get over one’s hangover, by drinking a gin and tonic. Other drinks can also be consumed whilst cutting the turtle. Generally or more often so, spirits.

“Mate, I’m f*cking hungover!”

“You need a G&T mate, you need to Cut The Turtle”

by Larry2017 July 25, 2018

Turtle Up

To go on the defensive. To make oneself incapable of harm or damage.

Can be used in a literal or figurative sense.

1. When losing the game, he chose to turtle up, giving himself an opportunity to comeback.

2. The opposing boxer decided to turtle up and wait for the striker to tire himself out before striking back.

by Finest Gentleman June 15, 2022

turtle headin it

When you have to defecate so badly that the poop is coming in and out like a turtle head goes in and out if its shell. Synonymous to "prairie doggin it"

I don't think I can finish this five mile run man, I'm turtle headin it bad!!

by definetheworld November 29, 2014