Directionally Retarded

A state beyond directionally challenged. One who is directionally retarded is legitimately useless at navigating anywhere, either by vehicle or by foot. This includes following a navigation system, going to locations they have been to countless times, or even as simple as following someone else's directions who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car. No matter the circumstances, no matter the stakes, one with directional retardation will simply always find a way to fuck it up. This accumulation of wrong turns and missed exits during any voyage means that they are generally always late to everything.
Driver- Ok, what exit do I take?
Passenger- Take exit 4 and then turn right onto cherry street.
Driver (takes exit 5 and then turns left onto Apple street)- Sorry, I'm directionally retarded
by LemonZest June 20, 2016
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dick retarded

A dick so good it makes you retarded!
He is so good, has me dick retarded for sure.
by Peachy dimples January 16, 2018
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retard rangler

the non tard that keeps the tards in a group, also knows how to speak Tardese, the language of the tards
Someone call a retard rangler, a tard has gotten loose!
by tardefinition April 10, 2015
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Goofy Retardation

The process by which someone that does actually posess some common sense, will look for the most ludracrous way to circumvent a problem/issue with a twisted sense of logic.
Goofy Retardation Example: Using gasoline to unclog a clogged drain, instead of a product like Draino, since its a harsh chemical, it must be good the the pipes. Another Example: Mayonnaise used as a protectant on a rod iron fence instead of car wax of some other protectant designed for said purpose.
by ExperiencedIdiotChaser December 15, 2011
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Retard Dick

A: A rather large dick. Refers to a joke that retarded men tend to have larger than average penises.

B: The rather large dick of a retard.
A: Due to his large penis, his friends gave him the sarcastic nickname "retard dick."

B: Bob: I heard Steve the retard has a huge dick!
Joe: Well, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
by dele33 March 08, 2008
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alabaster retard

A pale white person or object, with a mental handicap. first used to describe: "The Moon" from the famous radio/television series The Mighty Boosh. Therefor most apt when used as an adjective to describe satellites with gypsum like properties, but has rapidly found it's way into common usage in the English language.
Tony Harrison: " I took a chance, how was I to know he was an alabaster retard"
by KingoftheImpossible April 04, 2006
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