corporate masturbation

the act of discussing business without actually saying ANYTHING, but embuing said corporate masturbator with an undeserved feeling of being of interest or utility to those present or his or her current employer

corporate masturbation can easilly be identified when any of the phrases below (but not limited to this list) are used in the context of discussing a business or business activities:

'going forward'
'restructure our asset-base'
'efficient through-flow model '
'KPI monitoring'
'increase the number of revenue streams'
'consolodating our holdings'
'business paradigm shift'
'stakeholders'
'daynamasism'
'strategic re-evaluation'

etc etc

by bored by business bullshit February 26, 2013

The Masturbation Station

the heating plant

A lot of weird things happen at the Masturbation Station.

by Thurston June 18, 2003

Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.

See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.

by gordon getty November 13, 2011

music masturbator

Someone who is so self-righteous about their musical ability and talent that they feel the need to demonstrate their greatness in a pompus way to those listening, even if they are unwilling.

Radiohead, Mars Volta, and The Arcade Fire are all music masturbators.

by The Kerch April 26, 2008

constitutional masturbation

To Masturbate in a very patriotic way. Often will be done while listening to the national anthem, while watching the president give a speech, Or while cloaked in an American Flag

Guy 1: Dude last night i did some constitutional masturbation.

Guy 2: Theres nothing more patriotic than that, you know what ill be right back i need to go masturbate whilte listening to the national anthem

by Gentalmansmiley June 20, 2011

bridge and masturbation

bridge card game and masturbation ( games people play )

what does bridge and masturbation have in common ???

answer:
if you don't have a good hand, you better have a good partner !!!

by itchie_nocanpo June 30, 2006

masturbating on the shitter

Utter discontent because all you can smell is stale pee and ass smell. It really sucks in public rest rooms.

"Man, after taking a vicious dump, I decided not to masturbate because all I could smell was ass. masturbating on the shitter sucks

by WoodstockCobalt December 9, 2008