The Homosexual Squat

Sitting/squatting with your legs together, arms at your sides, back slightly arched but otherwise good posture. It's a compact pose.

"Oh no, Mikey's doing the homosexual squat again."

"Fellas, is it gay to sit?"
"Only if you're doing the homosexual squat like Nicole over there."

by nic.mp3 March 20, 2024

swoop up and squat down

Not to be confused with the grim "legalese" term for the infamous auto-insurance-fraud procedure, this phrase refers to a totally-positive-and-pleasant action that you employ while interacting with small children. It begins when an eager innocent-minded pint-size comes racing towards you at full speed with a big grin and his arms held out; you therefore hastily reach down and swoop up said hurtling youngster in your arms while simultaneously "doing a quick one-eighty pirouette" to rapidly swing him around with you, as well, so that he doesn't lose much of his accumulated momentum. You then swiftly squat down again and deposit him back on his feet so that he can continue running as if nothing had stopped him or even slowed him down much.

About da only time dat you would not perform a "swoop up and squat down" is if da child either appears to be upset and thus needs comforting, or desires a quickie-cuddle ("To win in life's race, children need plenty of lap time"), in which case you should instead simply sit down and cradle said closeness-craving youngster on yer knee. Be sure to keep in mind, however, dat you may need to spend at least a few minutes at dis endeavor, even if da child merely wants a few seconds of "lovies", since any other observing youngsters in da general vicinity may notice said affectionate clasping and decide dat dey would like a little snuggle-time from you, as well. It's just like if a hot chick is allowing a mushy-hearted fellow to massage her pretty feet, and one or more other nice guys happen by and observe da fun activity; it may cause said girl-loving dudes to experience a sudden misty-eyed craving for cute toes, as well, and so said damsel may therefore be obliged to remain seated there for some time while all of da guys "take turns wif her tootsies", eventually leaving her feet totally "burnished and polished" from having all da callouses rubbed off from her slender soles.

by QuacksO June 8, 2019

squat cobbler

A person who sits in a fruit filled pie for sexual pleasure.

Ernie was so enchanted as he watched his squat cobbler wife squat in her warm apple pie.

by Crafty Trafty August 17, 2016

Squat Cobbler

Noun. - One who sits on a pie, occasionally while crying or in a costume. Type of fetish porn

God damn that squat cobbler video turned me on

by Zerker161 September 3, 2016

Bean squat

Very little; negligible

The experienced nurses commented that new orderly at the nursing home didn't know "bean squat" about working with alzheimer patients.

by MTPackerBacker August 1, 2016

squat cobbler

When a person, fully clothed mind you, sits on a pie and wiggles their ass around in it.

Dan's tears salted the lightly toasted meringue as he prepared to lower his buttocks for his first squat cobbler.

by toiletjocky August 30, 2016

Squat Dust

When one farts and then has to squat in to the area where they have farted in to. Next level is when you coerce someone to squat in the area in which you have farted.

I was getting ready to poop and as I sat down I violently farted while in my descent. “Dusting” thy self in thine own luscious fart. Hence forth the “squat dust” is born.

by Jonny mansport April 16, 2021