Ham-Hand

When an individual either male or female is too intoxicated or in an excessively impaired mental state that prevents them from properly performing the act of masturbation upon themselves or another person.

"I was trying to beat off last night and I drank so much fucking robitussin and rubbing alcohol that I wound up just socking myself in the nuts instead, I totally ham-handed that one."

by mikiter September 09, 2013

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Going Ham

to do something as best as you possibly can.

I'm going ham at the gym today!

by PVPSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN January 11, 2013

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Ham Jam

means to perform in the act of sex with another person. It can be used when discussing both giving and receiving sex, or the wish to have sex with someone else. Normally a term used when the use of a phrase such as "getting yer hole" may be deemed too crude or offensive, or if the person using the phrase is in ear shot of someone they would not wish to know that they are having/planning on having sex.
It can also be used when trying to inform someone sex has recently been performed.

Example One (when used in a discussion)
Person 1: "Aye, am goin te his the night. Actually canny wait man, its been too long!"
Person 2: "Oh! Ye think you'll be getting yer ham jam the night then?"
Person 1: (winks) "Oh Aye man."
Person 2: (immediantly grins) "Yaaaas."

Example Two (when used to inform)
Person One: (raises eyebrows) "Here, by ra way, ham jam"
Person Two: (laughs out loud) "Yaaaaas!"

by Paggington September 29, 2011

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