A soul-crushing, dignity-vaporizing descent into hentai-fueled oblivion, where every shred of self-respect, ambition, and human potential is violently sacrificed at the altar of endless, wrist-snapping depravity. A gooner, once a functioning person, devolves into a dopamine-addicted troglodyte, eyes sunken, skin pale, body frail—marinating in the warm glow of their screen as they edge closer and closer to complete neurological collapse. Conversations? Forgotten. Dreams? Replaced with AI-generated waifus who wouldn't acknowledge their existence even if coded to. Relationships? Nonexistent—unless you count the parasocial bonds they've formed with fictional characters and cam models who milk them like brain-dead cattle. The peak of their life is a pixelated orgasm, followed by an existential horror so deep it could make Lovecraft weep. Goonerism isn’t just a habit—it’s a one-way ticket to being a functionally extinct human being.
"Once a promising young man with dreams and ambition, Jake succumbed to full-blown goonerism, wasting away in the dim glow of his monitor, his only accomplishments being a collection of cursed bookmarks, a wrist that could arm-wrestle God, and a level of self-loathing so deep it could be measured in fathoms."
by N0rs3GOd March 14, 2025

A gooner who only goons to Rule 34 of a fictional character that they understand and that they know is over the age of 18.
Hey wanna goon to Jaiden Animations?
Nah, I'm an ethical gooner, I only goon to fictional characters. Can we goon to Fenneko instead?
Nah, I'm an ethical gooner, I only goon to fictional characters. Can we goon to Fenneko instead?
by Kkkiiirrrbbbyyy February 12, 2025

Marsalis is such a gooner, he’s been walking around with that broom all day and never saw him make a pile of dirt.
by Haha-Man September 30, 2025

by drakehaha April 19, 2024

One that is chronically addicted to pornography and will masturbate to it all day long.
Examples of gooners: Owen Crummey, Fiontan Lagan, Cassan Mckee, Evan Copeland, Ethan Travers, Gracie Bingham, Martin Travers (to his pigeons), Aidan Scallon, Jamie Murney and David jones.
Examples of gooners: Owen Crummey, Fiontan Lagan, Cassan Mckee, Evan Copeland, Ethan Travers, Gracie Bingham, Martin Travers (to his pigeons), Aidan Scallon, Jamie Murney and David jones.
by Manus craig December 9, 2023

When you've been gooning for several hours to the point where your fingers start to hurt like hell and you have to stop.
Mike: Hey man, can you drive? my hand hurts like hell.
Joseph: Why? Were you up gooning all night?
Mike: Yep, classic gooner pain!
Joseph: Why? Were you up gooning all night?
Mike: Yep, classic gooner pain!
by Valmerito September 11, 2024

A person characterized by her laziness and masturbation addiction. It is a femboy and seeks attention from women through chastity. It enjoys sucking Tim's cock. For an example look up: Valentin Knorr.
by vALENTIN hATER March 22, 2025
