by STANISLAVV October 25, 2006
When someone puts a washing basket on their back to look like a tortoise and performs a cock block by crawling onto a couple's bed whilst they are making intercourse
"i got completely undressed, put on a washing basket and cock block tortoised onto nat's bed who was shagging zach"
by jabbott August 18, 2011
Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.
"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."
by A Dub November 9, 2006
An extreme case of Turtle Head, in which the victim is forced to take sliding baby steps and clench their butt cheeks in order to avoid a full on pant's crapping episode.
You suddenly realize you have turtle head. You leave your desk and take several steps towards the restroom only to experience the second stage of Turtle Head called, "Walking Tortoise Head". You clench your butt cheeks together and make baby steps praying for the strength and the luck to make it to the toilet in time to release this angry monster.
by Caedis T Yo April 12, 2011
Man, I would give that chick a "ukranian purple tortoise" any day, but i can't because her boobs are the same size.
by spoon on my nips March 9, 2009
A person who loves water...to the point where some people say it is obsessive. They cannot stay away from water long and typically hate on those who disrespect H2O. People often call them insane but they often beat them in water-related sports. It is believed that after a certain point they will grow fins and gills, though it is said to be theoretically impossible. It is believed they may be the future of man's aquatic evolution. Great prowess, ESP. on a water bed!
Mcgee: You see that naval tortoise
Rackman: Yeah he grew his fins last night and stole my girl this morning.
Rackman: Yeah he grew his fins last night and stole my girl this morning.
by DJ Craze October 23, 2013
by Vlad bad March 14, 2023