tortoise camrhyne

A bloody moron who likes male penis.

That dude's a total Tortoise Camrhyne!

by STANISLAVV October 25, 2006

Cock Block Tortoise

When someone puts a washing basket on their back to look like a tortoise and performs a cock block by crawling onto a couple's bed whilst they are making intercourse

"i got completely undressed, put on a washing basket and cock block tortoised onto nat's bed who was shagging zach"

by jabbott August 22, 2011

behead the brown tortoise

Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.

"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."

by A Dub November 10, 2008

Walking Tortoise Head

An extreme case of Turtle Head, in which the victim is forced to take sliding baby steps and clench their butt cheeks in order to avoid a full on pant's crapping episode.

You suddenly realize you have turtle head. You leave your desk and take several steps towards the restroom only to experience the second stage of Turtle Head called, "Walking Tortoise Head". You clench your butt cheeks together and make baby steps praying for the strength and the luck to make it to the toilet in time to release this angry monster.

by Caedis T Yo May 7, 2011

ukranian purple tortoise

a sexual act involving a midget, Halloween decorations, baby oil, and a large sponge

Man, I would give that chick a "ukranian purple tortoise" any day, but i can't because her boobs are the same size.

by spoon on my nips March 9, 2009

tooter tortoise

a tortoise that farts out of control.

my tortoise is a tooter tortoise

by kidsareweird January 27, 2022

Tortoise

Tortoises are horrible, disgusting abominations ruled by the tyrant Presidant of the United Testudines of America, Donald J. Tortoise. These horrid BEAST where once peaceful with the turtles and terrapins, until they suddenly attacked, why they did this is still unknown, but Presidant Donald Tortoise is proven to be a part of it by Queen Turtahl IV of the TU/Testudine Kingdom's spy's. Hopefully someday the Turtles will successfully rise against these terrible tyrants. The shibe in the gif by the way, the tortoise is taking it as a slave.

Tortoises must all burn in hell as they are corrupted far to much to ever make peace. Turtles and terrapins are godly!

by Hi, I'm Steve May 9, 2018