Putting a blindfold on your penis or vagina, expecting masturbation to be better due to the member's lack of knoledge of who's touching it.
by Jesse ;-) December 4, 2004
Get the blindfolding the shanibla mug.Having a wank over the railing of the boat so you jizz into the water.
Originally "Blinding the dolphin" was an old ancient pirate sport, as they drank a lot of rum and were horny, but didn't want to have pirate bum sex if there weren't any wenches to plough like a cornfield.
They decided it would be best to just give themselves the old low five, but in good ol' fashioned pirate tradition, were drunk and had fun with it, and had a competition to see who could unload a love shot into a jumping dolphin's mouth.
However, due to the Charlie Sheen like state one pirate was in, he ended up jizz blinding a dolphin, and thus the sport evolved into this turbo event.
Nowadays, seeing as it's illegal to jizz in a dolphin's eye as PETA will cry stinky tears, soak their arms in Kerosene and fist fuck themselves in the ass, the term is now used to express the activity of wanking into the sea to prevent a cum-based sealant in the toilet at sea.
Originally "Blinding the dolphin" was an old ancient pirate sport, as they drank a lot of rum and were horny, but didn't want to have pirate bum sex if there weren't any wenches to plough like a cornfield.
They decided it would be best to just give themselves the old low five, but in good ol' fashioned pirate tradition, were drunk and had fun with it, and had a competition to see who could unload a love shot into a jumping dolphin's mouth.
However, due to the Charlie Sheen like state one pirate was in, he ended up jizz blinding a dolphin, and thus the sport evolved into this turbo event.
Nowadays, seeing as it's illegal to jizz in a dolphin's eye as PETA will cry stinky tears, soak their arms in Kerosene and fist fuck themselves in the ass, the term is now used to express the activity of wanking into the sea to prevent a cum-based sealant in the toilet at sea.
Guy 1: "Man, all this boating is making me stressed, I'm gonna go wank!"
Guy 2: "You're better off blinding the dolphin, or you'll clog the shitter with man mayo."
Guy 1: "What's that?"
Guy 2: "Like this..." *Blinds the dolphin*
Guy 1: "I think I'll join you, looks fun!"
*Both blind the dolphin*
Guy 2: "You're better off blinding the dolphin, or you'll clog the shitter with man mayo."
Guy 1: "What's that?"
Guy 2: "Like this..." *Blinds the dolphin*
Guy 1: "I think I'll join you, looks fun!"
*Both blind the dolphin*
by Obi Dom Kenobi June 11, 2011
Get the Blinding the dolphin mug."That's what you do, you aim for the eye, grab the lip, and lead her around the room. Blinding the Merlin."
by hWnd85 December 8, 2010
Get the Blinding the Merlin mug.Noun:
Masturbating during church and busting your load all over either the priest or a statue of Jesus.
Masturbating during church and busting your load all over either the priest or a statue of Jesus.
I got banned from most Catholic churches because I keep blinding the gods with my excessive discharge
by Jarl (Baller)Gruuf May 12, 2017
Get the Blinding the Gods mug.well a marlin is a swordfish, so the closest thing a man has to a sword is his penis.
To blindside the marlin (where it cannot see) would be to headbutt the tip of the cock during fellatio.
To blindside the marlin (where it cannot see) would be to headbutt the tip of the cock during fellatio.
by susanismyalias January 5, 2010
Get the blindsiding the marlin mug.blinding the pirates parrot is when a guy is jacking off and plans on cumming on his stomache but shoots harder than he expected and his sperm shoots over his shoulder just missing his face
man1:I was wanking it this morning and got lucky i guess 'cause i endded up blinding the pirates parrot.
man2:I wasn't so lucky I gave myself a zombie.....
man2:I wasn't so lucky I gave myself a zombie.....
by INSANE1323 July 7, 2009
Get the blinding the pirates parrot mug.A cultural moment or slow-burning era where everything starts to feel generic, safe, soulless, and algorithmically optimized—usually in the name of profit, political correctness, or fear of backlash.
It’s the opposite of creative risk, raw authenticity, or human soul. You feel it in music, art, fashion, politics, even conversations—like someone sanded off all the sharp edges of reality.
It’s the opposite of creative risk, raw authenticity, or human soul. You feel it in music, art, fashion, politics, even conversations—like someone sanded off all the sharp edges of reality.
Ever since 2020, it feels like we’re living through The Great Blandening—every song sounds like an ad jingle and even rebellion feels pre-approved.
by Charleston Barnes II April 17, 2025
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