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Case Western Reserve University

Noun

Synonyms: Fear, Frustration, Work Overload, Revenge of the Nerds

Antonymns: Fun, Relax, Enjoy, Hot Chicks

Case Western Reserve University is the most frustrating learning environment in the world. From students to the administration to the city of Cleveland, everything is a mess.

First, lets start with the students. Socially, Case students model themselves after the South African apartheid system. The nerds band together from day one and form their own environment of anime, DDR, study parties, computer programming, and lord knows what else. Then, there are the normal people. Once in a while, a few of them will become friends and have fun at Case by not paying attention to what is going on around them. Everyone is always ugly and pissed off about classes or the weather. Nothing done by the administration ever solves any problems because both groups want everything different. For example, normal people may want a new gym while the nerds want a new computer lounge equipped with megaplex59625 video cards and 92 ultrabytes of RAM, so the administration responds by erecting a giant obelisk in the center of campus.

You might laugh at that, but that is seriously what the administration does. When confronted with a problem, they come up with eleborate and costly solutions that don't work anyway. For example, students didn't like the cafeteria food, so the administration spent $500,000 on a new diner. However, it used the same food made in the cafeteria, only you got to pay for it this time. I once complained about the milk dispensers not working right. The week after, they painted them black and white like cows. We are living in dorms older than Jesus, so they are building new ones. But, they are going to charge us over $2000 more per year than what we pay now which is already insane. The campus bus service has problems running on time, so they are in the process of inventing an elaborate GPS tracking system so students know where the buses are. I truly will enjoy watching the new GPS system when it shows the drivers abandoning their routes for cigarette breaks, which is the whole problem in the first place.

Oh yeah, the professors all make sure to out-do the administration. A lot of them operate on the basis of "it was tough for me so I'm going to make it tougher for you". They want Case to be the same as Stanford and M.I.T. academically, so they all teach their graduate material to undergraduates and make life hell.

Cleveland is also the worst place on earth. The weather sucks. People from the ghetto mug students all the time. The city doesn't have a budget to fix roads, so the main bridge on campus fell down. Traffic is now a nightmare, and there is a hospital right in the middle of things. I saw an ambulance stuck in a long line of traffic the other day - I wish I had a picture of it.

To sum things up, DO NOT COME HERE.

Other amusing things that happen here:
-condoms are the last things that the vending machines run out of
-we currently have our home football and baseball games at a local high school since we have no fields
-most of the porn downloaded occurs on Friday and Saturday nights
-it takes a half hour to walk across campus at a fast pace
-I saw a Case commercial on MTV while watching Viva la Bam...can we say "media whore"?
-I'm so pissed I don't even want to go on...
This is part of a real email from professor to his class:

"Dear class,
Hmm. Let me re-word that ...

Class:
The mid-term exam was an unmitigated disaster. It appears that not one
student got a single problem correct. In spite of my severe disappointment,
I'll have to assume this was my fault. (Of course, this won't keep me from
flogging you when you return!)."
by Domitian February 22, 2005
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steel reserve

STEEL RESERVES 211 FOR LIFE!!! hard ass fkcin brew... here in tha 209 we drink that shit like everyday. in tallies and 40's alongside them OE's and mickeys! cuz we cant be affording heinekens all tha time!! FUCKS U UP FOR CHEAP!!!! THAZ HOW US BROKE NIGGAZ DO!

drinkin it as i type this... brewed for hella long and taste like piss buh gets the job done and for cheap.. ANYONE who drinks 211 knows wat im talkin bout.....
me: damn nigga i want some brew
godbro: letz get some 211

*walks outta sto wit 4 tallies of steel reserve for $5*
-1 hour later-

me: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
godbro: yup
by J to tha M December 12, 2006
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steel reserve

A Cheap ass Malt liquor commonly known as 211. The price for a 40 is about 2.50 or less .211 is in a class w/ OE an Hurricanes for a person w/ pocket change an needs a fix me upper.Two or more your going to have yourself a violent night.
Me & my friend drank two Steel Reserves then drove to the races which didnt happen so we raced my car down a street reaching 95mph then we stopped to talk to a guy which we ended up starting a fight w/ this guy over a Cigarette.
by HR Shovin Stuff November 19, 2007
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off the reservation

I'm terrified of this girl. She's completely off the reservation.
by JtotheL April 13, 2006
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reserve bitch

A woman that a man strings along, so if his attempts to meet a new woman fail, he can call the reserve bitch.
This club is a wood fest, good thing I keep Heather around as a reserve bitch or I wouldn't get any all weekend.
by LTrain_ June 10, 2007
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Reserve Bum

Someone serving in the military reserves whose only form of employment is the reserves.
How did my neighbor afford a new hot tub? He only works 6 days a month as a reserve bum!

Maj Beeman was furloughed from Delta Airlines last week. Looks like he’ll be reserve buming for a while.
by Otterretto February 21, 2009
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Reserve

When a boy talks to you and treats you like a girlfriend but won't ask you to be his girlfriend, so he gives you the title "bestfriend".

Also when you try to talk to someone else they get very upset and jealous as if y'all are in a relationship.......BUT YOUR NOT!
"I don't really like shorty like that, but she smart so imma keep her on reserve" or "Michael is really trying me, he not bout to have me on reserve"
by Muffy Gabriel March 2, 2017
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