1. Check the dirty laundry. While you woman is in the shower, check her bra and panty size. Nothing ruins a sexy gift of lingerie quicker than buying her something two sizes too big. No matter how good she looks, she's self concious about her figure.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
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by The Jerkman December 28, 2011
Get the Rules of Lingerie Shopping mug.A lagger is a person(male or female) who talks to the police about another inmate in the prison cell, this can be because they want a reduce sentence or money for exposing the other inmate.
In the U.S, a lagger is equivalent to a snitch.
In the U.S, a lagger is equivalent to a snitch.
by BosstheDon October 31, 2018
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According to a witness at the scene, the victim was engaged in an act of lingerlingus when he inadvertently swallowed a bra hook and subsequently expired.
by gartholomew March 7, 2011
Get the Lingerlingus mug.a shit where you had to drop two logs, one after the other; usually the result of having to snap a deuce
by Nebuchadnezzar June 28, 2004
Get the two logger mug.Peter was going to participate in anal sex tonight. He shaved his butt crack to get ready. Peter is an anal logger.
by JT8087 March 7, 2010
Get the anal logger mug.The act of eating a lot of fiber, then later during the night when all of the food is digested, your ass starts to rip farts out without you noticing, then once you leave the room after about 30 mins from constant ass ripping and you walk back in, you get a nose bleed from all the toxic build up being released into your face (may burn eyebrows)
by MSMA October 26, 2011
Get the Room Linger mug.When a man's movember or prostasche lingers on into December because he is starting to like it.
Usually these people are single or headstrong, as many spouses don't like molingus.
Usually these people are single or headstrong, as many spouses don't like molingus.
Matt: You didn't shave?
Mike: I'm liking my movember.
Matt: We're in December, dude. Now its a mo-linger.
Mike: I'm liking my movember.
Matt: We're in December, dude. Now its a mo-linger.
by Zarbuck December 1, 2010
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