Definitions by gartholomew

75/25 

1. Someone you can tolerate 75% of the time but who, the other 25% of the time, reminds you why you aren't dating or married.

2. A person who's more than a friend but less than significant other.

3. A relationship that's not a relationship.

"I'm taking my 75/25 to my cousin's wedding. I hope she doesn't get any ideas."

"This weekend? I don't know . . . maybe I'll see the 75/25 if I can stand it."

"No way could I live with the 75/25. I'd rip out his throat within a week."

"She's not my girlfriend; we just have a 75/25."

75/25 by Gartholomew March 17, 2013

Lingerlingus 

Pronounced "LAHN-ger-LING-us." The act of removing one's partner's undergarments with one's mouth.

According to a witness at the scene, the victim was engaged in an act of lingerlingus when he inadvertently swallowed a bra hook and subsequently expired.

Lingerlingus by gartholomew March 7, 2011

Tortsneezer 

One who infects another with a cold, flu, or other communicable illness.

The law should have a remedy against a tortsneezer who, either negligently or recklessly, infects another with his illness.

Tortsneezer by Gartholomew February 18, 2011

Dejaculate

To remove one's jacket, coat or outerwear.

"Thank you for coming! Please dejaculate and make yourself comfortable."

"Where's Miranda?" "Oh, she's dejaculating in the coatroom."

"I had barely dejaculated before they bombarded me with complaints."

Dejaculate by Gartholomew October 17, 2009