A city in Alberta, Western Canada. A right-wing, oil-rich, poorly planned-out traffic jam that is run by faux-cowboy hicks who have lots of money but no idea how to spend it practically or efficiently. Calgary is the homeless capital of the world. There are so many bums downtown that they might actually constitute a voting block. Calgary is also the rape capital of Canada, sexual assaults on women being a favorite pastime for immigrants and locals alike. Calgary is also chock full of drug-gangs, grow-ops, and mentally-ill street codgers. The courts don't actually lock-up criminals, instead they let them out after 12 hours of cushy containment. Watch out for swarming immigrant teenagers who will beat the shit out of you for the fun of it. The hockey team sucks, too.
by WingSt. January 9, 2008
Get the Calgary mug.A pretentious city with delusions of grandeur and penis envy (Toronto's dick is way bigger). I equate Calgary to the farmboy redneck who just won the lottery and bought himself a new car, new clothes and a fancy house. You may look good, you may have money, but Calgary you still have no class or sophistication, because deep down you are still a redneck.
Gee wiz look at me, I am Calgary - a hip and cool place because of all that oil money that I dug up from the ground but didn't really have to use by brains or ingenuity to create. Shhh, please don't tell my master Toronto.
by Toronto the Great May 19, 2007
Get the Calgary mug.A city trying it's best to be as good as Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver before it's oil runs out and it turns into Canada's first Detroit. Bunch of red neck wannabes walking around in their cowboy hats eating beef and fattening up like the grease pigs they are. In the middle of nowhere, only talked about because they have oil. To bad Alberta couldn't start drilling for class and style 2 things missing from this bubble soon to burst. Claim to be Canadian but act more like a bunch of racist whities from Texas. SUV loving, freeway driving, suburban dwelling, city sprawling, environment raping, meat swallowing, air polluting, cowboy riding, animal abusing bunch of Hillbillies.
Calgary is the biggest waste of time.
by CapatainWestward July 25, 2006
Get the Calgary mug.A grossly overrated, sad excuse for a city that is filled with soulless, greedy individuals who think they are the shit. A town of red neck racists and nerds who think they got it goin on but seriously lack any sense of culture or heritage. A town with no appreciation for little things like art...music...comedy or indviduality. Its filled with clones and white collar wannabes (male and female).The females are the worst kind...Fake, stuck up and money hungry. The dudes are mostly quasi-homosexuals who have no swagger whatsoever and rely completely on their leased Escalades to attract these wack bitches. Just a sad sight to see. Having lived and worked in both Calgary and Edmonton, I gotta go with Etown every time. I suppose its what your into really. Neither is particularly amazing, but Cowtown really just has NO heart. And for my money, I prefer to stay down the REAL people(Edmontonians) and stay far away from all the fakers and the haters(Calgarians).
Yeah, my favorite band is coming to Calgary, but I will definitley drive to Edmonton to go see them cuz atleast they know how to party up there!! This place WEEEEAAAAAKKKK!!!
by Tre Seven September 8, 2009
Get the Calgary mug.A city in Alberta, Canada, which is near Edmonton and the Rockies. Known for the Stampede, and it's incredibly large population of homophobic racist closeted cowboys.
by 88835 April 2, 2007
Get the calgary mug.An expensive city in the Praries. The women are superficial and think that you owe them the world. In general people are unfriendly and self centered. The transit system sucks, it's expensive and never on time. Driving sucks because the roads are in terrible condition and the genius city planners shut down multiple main routes for construction at the same time. There is nothing to do really, when you do venture to the outdoors they crowd people into small recreation areas or if you go to provincial or national parks the good trails are busy. I wouldn't reccomend moving to this dump. You will acquire debt and find it hard to escape.
by No_bull_shit April 3, 2012
Get the CALGARY mug.Concrete city located 51°03' latitude and 114°05' longitude in Alberta, Canada.
The city is a giant network of poorly planned and poorly maintained road systems, causing mass congestion in a city with only 900,000 people. It sports a bare minimum 'tram' system which does not even reach the airport, and is often littered with homeless people who can ride the trains for free in downtown.
The homeless dominate the north-eastern downtown core, and even have their own purpose built hotel, with rates starting at $0 per night. The homeless population can be seen killing each other outside the Cecil Hotel.
Older suburbs are beginning to show their age and are the shanty towns of Calgary. Lack of city investment is aiding their rapid demise, and fueling the local criminal population.
The city is a giant network of poorly planned and poorly maintained road systems, causing mass congestion in a city with only 900,000 people. It sports a bare minimum 'tram' system which does not even reach the airport, and is often littered with homeless people who can ride the trains for free in downtown.
The homeless dominate the north-eastern downtown core, and even have their own purpose built hotel, with rates starting at $0 per night. The homeless population can be seen killing each other outside the Cecil Hotel.
Older suburbs are beginning to show their age and are the shanty towns of Calgary. Lack of city investment is aiding their rapid demise, and fueling the local criminal population.
by Madtroll June 3, 2004
Get the calgary mug.