Carl

A guy who probably had his existential crisis that only the age of 16. He's the kind of guy who cries himself to sleep every night. If he has kids, He doesn't. His wife has them, Someone kidnapped them, Or some shit. Carl's get no kids. The only type of kids he gets is a class of angry teenagers who live off monster energy drinks. Carl's are usually teachers, why? because they hate their life so much so that they need to make it worse with every passing minute. By the age of five Carl's are usually alcoholics. You can't blame them. It's not their fault they were named Carl. Carl's also have a tendency to have very small penises. So small that a dwarf could top them. So small that it is impossible for a man like that to be straight. Carl's have small penises.

"oh hey that's Carl." "Doesn't he have a tiny penis?"

"Isn't that Carl's eighth wine bottle?"

"Someone help Carl he about to jump off the balcony again. "

by Stumblebunny May 3, 2020

Carl

He doesn't kill people. That is his least favorite thing to do.

Paul: What happened to his hands?
Carl: His what?
Paul: His hands. Why are they missing?
Carl: Well, I ... I kinda've cooked them up and ate them.
Paul: ... Caaarl.

by SaveTheStrigops June 24, 2022

Carl Ligglebottom

Carl Ligglebottom is a fictional character usually used on TikTok in Goofy ahh videos with Quandale Dingle

Quandale Dingle) Hey Quandale Dingle here, I’m with my friend Carl Ligglebottom

by Darnell696960 July 6, 2022

carl porkins

An overweight middle-aged white guy playing rock and roll guitar in a shitty cover band.

"That guitar player sure is a real Carl Porkins"

by Carl Porkins June 24, 2016

Carl-Emil

Usually a very smol dick around 3 cm but he is still a lady magnet and fucks your mom

guy 1: Who is that guy with that smol dick?
guy 2: He must be an Carl-Emil

by Giant penis guy February 28, 2022

Chainsaw Carl

A crazy man from upstate NY with a chainsaw, a wood chipper, and a business card. He portrays himself as an "arborist." He offers tree cutting services, but will trim your bush for free if you let him.

He peeps in windows and videos women getting out of the shower. He is the second cousin of Tree-Fucking-Carl, sometimes spelled Tree Fucking Carl, or TreeFuckingCarl, and he is severely inbred.

He leaves cameras attached to the trees outside your window which stream video live to his Carl shack, where he and all the other Carl's hang out and jack off while watching Carl trim your bush.

Girl 1 "I just hired an arborist to trim the trees around my house"
Girl 2 "I hope it's not Chainsaw Carl! Lol."
Girl 1 "it's that crazy fuck with the chainsaw and wood chipper that's peepin' and creepin' around!"

by Double take July 10, 2025

Big Carl

A) A tuba but bigger
B) Weight-loss company
C) A car that won't fit in my garage
D) That baby that's always crying on the airplane.

Me and my brother play the Big Carl for our school band.

by Quonkleboi March 18, 2024