captain obvious

that fucktard who's always lurking arround waiting for the chance to explain anything about a situation known to everyone.

common state ments made by captain obvious are things such as 'wow guys look its raining'. Yes captain obvious is that guy who leaves everyone thingking 'you dense mother fucker'

captain obvious: hey we have schoool on moday

person: thanks for that captain obvious

captain obvious: thats ok

person: you dense mother fucker

by cottnsoft April 10, 2013

captain tatty bo jangles

My scrotum

That's a nice Captain tatty bo jangles you got there.

by Captain tatty bo jangles April 3, 2014

captain dildo

The person that wants to jam a dildo up your ass when you are passing seated people at the movies

"not today, not today, not today captain dildo" - dane cook (vicious circle)

by evansd September 15, 2009

Captain Morgans' Revenge

...or rum-hangover.
When you've been drinking rum and waking up with a bad hangover.

bro-tip: Rum goes well with coca-cola.

1person: Wow, I drank so much bacardi and woke up with the worst hangover ever.

2person: Captain Morgan has cast his revenge upon you.

3person: Captain Morgans' Revenge!

by Johannarin October 23, 2011

captain red eye

Usually used in cases of revenge, when the offender is asleep you lower your pants to mid ankle squat over the persons face and pinch their nose with your ass cheaks making sure their nose gets comfortably aquainted with Mr. Captain Red Eye himself.

My girl cheated on me so I went over to her house and introduced her to Captain Red Eye.

by Mr. Red Eye February 29, 2008

captain fuschetti

Great PE teacher at Ensign Intermediate who often refers to egressing out onto the track, run a schoolloop, and scurvydogs.

"Hey Mr. Fuschetti are we running the mile today?"-formal student Edit Rocha
"Captain Fuschetti"- The Captain

by Jain Bernard December 9, 2016

Captain Quagmire

The person charged with the duties of Commander In Chief who single handedly inserts military action with an indefinate end into situations of certain prolonged demise, created as a direct result of intentionally failed intelligence, and further as a substitute for actual depth of character, real integrity, courageous valour, and integral honesty, all the while inspiring hatred, bigotry, ineptitude, cronyism, and international terrorism through his own example.

George W.M.D. Bush aka "Captain Quagmire" doesn't remember studying Vietnam in his history classes, nor does he remember living through it, but he doesn't care, he's the President of Florida!

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" -May 2nd 2003

by Sergio Momarsh July 22, 2008