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Jared

Missing hair follicles, extremely bald. Has a one-piece character build. Overall a 1 in looks. Knows his way around a women. Not the sharpest person in the room.
Jared’s bald as shit
by MaxtheMeattree March 8, 2024
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Jared Fogle sucks Big Bubba's penis

Jared Fogle sucks Big Bubba's penis the highest rated prison Romance video at the Gays' Oscars. The faggots couldn't resisted the happy ending.
by queensburykid March 30, 2024
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Jared's Ears

Most ticklish ginormous, and gargantious motherfuckers on this planet, in the solar system, in our galaxy, in our milkyway, and especially, on this side of the Mississippi. These existing figures that we call ears are the biggest most pergananant beings on the face of the same planet i breathe on
Man I got a real Jared's Ears on my balls
by Christophlak March 30, 2024
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Jared

Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…
Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.
by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022
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Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
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Jared Ellis

To humiliate someone by rejecting them publicly
Person 1: “Eww I don’t want him to bring me flowers

Person 2: “Jared Ellis his ass!!”
by Keeks maleeks February 25, 2022
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Jared

the bitch who stole wilbur's gf /hj
person 1: yeah, ive met jared
person 2: of course youve met jared
by dreamshart March 5, 2022
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