Someone who is very skilled at wanking covertly in the same room as another person - the master of risky wanking. The Wank Ninja can successfully wank in a number of locations without being detected: in the back of the car with their family, under the table during a meeting, on the sofa next to a friend, etc. The art of the silent finish is vital, as is suppressing any hint of the Orgasm Face.
The other night, my girlfriend totally managed to get herself off three times during dinner with my grandparents - she's such a wank ninja.
by TheWN March 04, 2012
A towel primarily used for collecting semen after masturbation.
Can also be used as a normal towel, to give you that great salty semen smell.
Can also be used as a normal towel, to give you that great salty semen smell.
Ross: MAM WHERE'S MA WANK TOWEL
Mum: IT'S IN THA FACKIN WOSH YA FACKIN CUNT
Ross: I NEED A FACKIN WANK
Mum: IT'S IN THA FACKIN WOSH YA FACKIN CUNT
Ross: I NEED A FACKIN WANK
by Wankermeister69 January 08, 2014
by john's peena April 16, 2018
Similar to chain smoking except it is having one wank after another, usually practised by teenage boys with internet access in their bedroom
A mother will shout up the stairs to her son "get up it is 2pm" and the boys father will tell her "leave the boy alone, he is chain wanking"
by Kendo Bazoo November 14, 2009
A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.
Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.
The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.
The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
by Alan-O September 13, 2007
David was busting for a fuck but Victoria was feeling tired after not eating all day, so David had to be happy with a posh wank that evening.
by JacobMarley45434 April 30, 2011
Similar to the risky wank. It involves sitting in your room with a boner, then yelling to your mum that you need to see her quickly. The trick is to start and finish jerking off before she makes it to your room. Only attempted by fucking idiots or virgins who can cum that fast.
john: "MUUUUUUUMMMM COME HEREEEE!!!"
mum: "Coming" Step, step, step
john: "SHIT, SHIT ,SHIT, FUCK ME YEAHHHH"
mum: step, step, open door "WTF!!!"
john: "CRAP....DIDN'T MAKE IT"
John fails the death wank. Silly prick
mum: "Coming" Step, step, step
john: "SHIT, SHIT ,SHIT, FUCK ME YEAHHHH"
mum: step, step, open door "WTF!!!"
john: "CRAP....DIDN'T MAKE IT"
John fails the death wank. Silly prick
by Wattini August 21, 2008