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Wank towel

A towel primarily used for collecting semen after masturbation.

Can also be used as a normal towel, to give you that great salty semen smell.
Ross: MAM WHERE'S MA WANK TOWEL

Mum: IT'S IN THA FACKIN WOSH YA FACKIN CUNT

Ross: I NEED A FACKIN WANK
by Wankermeister69 January 9, 2014
mugGet the Wank towelmug.

Wank Ninja

Someone who is very skilled at wanking covertly in the same room as another person - the master of risky wanking. The Wank Ninja can successfully wank in a number of locations without being detected: in the back of the car with their family, under the table during a meeting, on the sofa next to a friend, etc. The art of the silent finish is vital, as is suppressing any hint of the Orgasm Face.
The other night, my girlfriend totally managed to get herself off three times during dinner with my grandparents - she's such a wank ninja.
by TheWN June 8, 2012
mugGet the Wank Ninjamug.

Chain wanking

Similar to chain smoking except it is having one wank after another, usually practised by teenage boys with internet access in their bedroom
A mother will shout up the stairs to her son "get up it is 2pm" and the boys father will tell her "leave the boy alone, he is chain wanking"
by Kendo Bazoo November 14, 2009
mugGet the Chain wankingmug.

wank ass

"What is this wank ass music we are listening to?"
by john's peena April 17, 2018
mugGet the wank assmug.

Blitz-Wank

Noun: blitz-wank - a wank that should never exceed more than roughly one minute. Any longer than that and it can no longer be classed as a B.W.

Verb: to blitz-wank - the act of furiously masturbating so as to achieve and orgasm in a very particular time constraint.

For the gentleman who just needs to get something out of his system in a record breaking time.
A day at the office-
Bob: Fml, this work is really getting me down. No wonder the statistics of office suicides are so high lately.
Pete: Just go into the supplies cupboard and rub out a BW my friend.
Bob: BW?
Pete: Blitz-wank! It's where you choke the life out of your chicken until it sqwarks in around a minute.
*after a brief blitz-wanking session bob returns to his desk and completes all of his assignments to an exceptional standard*
Bob: Remember kids, if it weren't for BWs, I wouldn't be where I am today.
by Russian Roller November 28, 2010
mugGet the Blitz-Wankmug.

Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.
by Alan-O September 26, 2007
mugGet the Wank monkeymug.

posh wank

What David Beckham has to settle for when she's not quite in the mood for full sex.
David was busting for a fuck but Victoria was feeling tired after not eating all day, so David had to be happy with a posh wank that evening.
by JacobMarley45434 May 22, 2011
mugGet the posh wankmug.

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