Wank towel

A towel primarily used for collecting semen after masturbation.

Can also be used as a normal towel, to give you that great salty semen smell.

Ross: MAM WHERE'S MA WANK TOWEL

Mum: IT'S IN THA FACKIN WOSH YA FACKIN CUNT

Ross: I NEED A FACKIN WANK

by Wankermeister69 January 9, 2014

wank ass

Something really dumb or shitty.

"What is this wank ass music we are listening to?"

by john's peena April 17, 2018

Wank Ninja

Someone who is very skilled at wanking covertly in the same room as another person - the master of risky wanking. The Wank Ninja can successfully wank in a number of locations without being detected: in the back of the car with their family, under the table during a meeting, on the sofa next to a friend, etc. The art of the silent finish is vital, as is suppressing any hint of the Orgasm Face.

The other night, my girlfriend totally managed to get herself off three times during dinner with my grandparents - she's such a wank ninja.

by TheWN June 8, 2012

Chimp Wank

It is the act of taping ones penis to ones leg with either tape or cling film and wanking with his leg like a chimp.

The main advantage of this is that one can still eat and drink at the same time like a Sir.

Sir 1 "Dude we used so much tape and cling film"
Sir 2 "What having a chimp wank?"

by Bashtoe August 23, 2012

wank

a word used when trying to explain your whereabouts to your parents

"Where are you Kevin?"
"Uh. Wank. zlurp. kweep. roger's house. WAAAANK!"

by meepers September 5, 2008

posh wank

What David Beckham has to settle for when she's not quite in the mood for full sex.

David was busting for a fuck but Victoria was feeling tired after not eating all day, so David had to be happy with a posh wank that evening.

by JacobMarley45434 May 22, 2011

The Death Wank

Similar to the risky wank. It involves sitting in your room with a boner, then yelling to your mum that you need to see her quickly. The trick is to start and finish jerking off before she makes it to your room. Only attempted by fucking idiots or virgins who can cum that fast.

john: "MUUUUUUUMMMM COME HEREEEE!!!"

mum: "Coming" Step, step, step

john: "SHIT, SHIT ,SHIT, FUCK ME YEAHHHH"

mum: step, step, open door "WTF!!!"

john: "CRAP....DIDN'T MAKE IT"

John fails the death wank. Silly prick

by Wattini October 15, 2008