Nonce

No-nse

A huge paedophile. likes fiddling with Teenagers and maybe even primary school children. (really foul)

person1 "did you hear about Jimmy Saville?"

person2 "yeah I heard he was a massive NONCE."

by English Slang 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 June 26, 2023

nonce

an extremely kind and thoughtful person who is always looking out for people.

I love being called a nonce, it really makes my day.

by TheWiseEnglishMan February 25, 2023

Nonce

A very nice person who is good with kids

American- “hi are you a nonce.”
British person- “yes. I can look after your children for you.”
American- “thank you.”

by Bowis_daydream6696 March 11, 2023

Nonce Nuggets

Werthers Originals sweets, sold in small boxes or bags. Purchased by the elderly, especially in a Petrol Stations. Great queue former, as they are usually placed right on the bottom shelf and it takes the elderly a fucking age to get up and down. Poor replacement for Simpsons travel sweets that are rarer than rocking horse shit at the moment, so much so there is no shelf space for them, great source of entertainment for an overworked and underpaid customer assistant!

“Three packs of nonce nuggets and a lucky dip for Saturday night.

“Certainly, and are you going to pay for that Daily Mail you’ve got folded under your arm or are you going to walk out with it like you did last week.?”
“Oh sorry, and by the way your forecourt is disgusting why aren’t you out in the rain sweeping up the puddles?”
“As you can see I’m on my own, and I now have a queue of 12 people, thank you so much, have a wonderful day!”

by Cacker Man April 1, 2023

Nonce

Another word for Tom Pulford

Have you heard about that nonce?? Oh you mean Tom pulford?

by JohnathanWickers June 8, 2024

door nonce

a person who can’t close a door properly according to my dad

“mia you can’t close that door properly you’re such a door nonce”

by mcjvis June 11, 2024

fucking nonce

a person who likes kids ally im talking about you

whos that over there

ally the fucking nonce

by fgdhjdfgh May 9, 2025