Spoon Bandit

A nocturnal infiltrator who creeps momentarily into the spoon position before escaping unnoticed.

Much to my surprise, the CCTV footage revealed the visit from a Spoon Bandit

by nigelburns July 9, 2018

slotted spoon

A person who is a unlikable and kind of an asshole.

Steve is a slotted spoon.

by artistotle May 5, 2017

spoon craters

When food has the appearance of being dipped into or snitched by means of a spoon.

Mom knew John had eaten some of her special chocolate ice cream because the surface was marred with tell-tale spoon craters.

by T-R3Z October 19, 2010

donkey spoon

When someone gets sexually aroused after eating off spoon that was in a donkeys rectum.

"I got a raging boner after eating off of my donkey spoon."

by Potato Balls May 6, 2016

Bleached the spoons

To make a remark on social media that opens you up to ridicule and hilarity.

I bleached the spoons when I said One Direction were musicians.

I bleached the spoons when I didn't know who Shakespeare was.

by Zixer May 5, 2014

Licking the Spoon

The well kept, darkest of secrets, that you love to lick the speculum clean like a good little boy. Highly guarded and known only by you, your girlfriend/wife, her gyno-man and your mother who started it all by handing you a spoon full of cookie dough.

I was licking the spoon as soon as possible when my wife returned from her gyno appointment carrying a zip-lock with a spec in it.

by Pierced69 November 7, 2021

Spoons fever

Spoons fever is a severe form of depression gained specifically from working at a Wetherspoon. It can be identified by grumpiness, easilily irritable mood, dead look in someone’s eyes and just a general loss of the will to live.

“It was really busy in the pub on Monday and I looked over at Andy who was in the middle of pouring eight pints of Tennants and three pints of Guinness for a group of guys and I could instantly tell he was getting spoons fever from the look on his face as the guys kept changing the order.”

“Don’t expect me to be in a good mood today I have spoons fever I’ve been working for seven days in a row and still have three more until I am off, I need a holiday!”

by SassySpooner January 8, 2019