Conversational Jesus

A person with the ability to turn a conversation about water into a conversation about wine.

A: After my work-out i was really thirsty, i would have killed for some water.
B: Then why didn't you just un-cork a good bottle?
A: Un-cork? .... are you talking about wine again?
B: Of course, what else?
A: Man, you'r a true Conversational Jesus!..

by Darkwing Warming April 20, 2011

khaki jesus

Khaki Jesus aka Steve Irwin. He is the only person to rock a pair of generic khakis

Friend 1: have you ever heard of Steve Irwin

Friend 2: do you mean khaki Jesus

by Gopackmc September 28, 2020

steakhouse jesus

Male with athletic build that is well versed in a multitude of aspects. Typically always down for a party while still being able to be counted on in times of need. Most assuredly a Harley Dyna rider who's got cool facial hair. Can quote most any movie from the 80's and carries a knife. Bib optional.

The party was pretty stale until Steakhouse Jesus showed up. That dude ripped up an 8 ball and got everybody drunk. When a bar fight broke out he stopped it with one hand. He even got a tip from the strippers, man. That dude knows how to get down.

by mötleylou June 11, 2020

jesus goggles

If you say that someone is wearing Jesus goggles, you mean that that person has been so on fire for God that they think someone is more sexually attractive because they too have the same level of passion for Jesus instilled in their heart:

"How did you manage to get such a beautiful girlfriend when you look how you do?"
"Brah pls- Jesus is my wingman"

""Why is she dating him, he ain't fly"
"Ahh man homie, she must have her jesus goggles on tiggggghhhtttt"
"Ahmen to that"
"Mmmmhmmm"

by uj6tyjhvj March 29, 2015

jesus seam

The Jesus seam is the vertical hemispherical ridge across a man's testicles implying this is where God welded or stitched him together.

I got kicked right in the balls so hard I thought I split my Jesus seam.

by Sicrowell May 19, 2016

on baby jesus

its just somethin i made up

somebody: you lying
me: on baby jesus i aint lyin
ian trippin on baby jesus
on baby jesus yhu mad weird 🥱💯.

by Ty💀 September 18, 2020

jesus fetish

1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.

2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.

Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?

Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!

Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.

by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 2, 2022