A main focus of the church of Jesus’ Christ of Latter Day Saints is on families. One purpose of their temples is to be eternally sealed as a family so you can be together forever. Resurrection part 2(heaven) is made up of three little groups depending how you lived your life; celestial, terrestrial, and telestrial.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Me: This is a rant and it barely scratches the surface. Go to the church website, lds.org, for their values, they have a dictionary thing that states their beliefs on certain topics. For stuff against the church, the ces letter by Jeremy runnels is a good place to start. Another good spot is YouTube interviews with Ex-Mormons.
by Macetree November 28, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that live in Cache County, Utah. Arguably the worst Mormons out there due to their rampant level of incest and cheapness.
Dude 1: Dude look at this chick I matched with!
Dude 2: Yeah right dude, she's a Cache Valley Mormon.
Dude 1: No way, she's fine!
Dude 2: Sure if you like shopping at Walmart and hanging out at the Fun Park...
Dude 2: Yeah right dude, she's a Cache Valley Mormon.
Dude 1: No way, she's fine!
Dude 2: Sure if you like shopping at Walmart and hanging out at the Fun Park...
by Big Camp June 6, 2022
Get the Cache Valley Mormon mug.1. Giving someone a handshake right after having sex without washing your hands.
2. When you’re right in the middle of having some nasty ass sex with your beautiful girlfriend when you suddenly hear a knock on the door. She is moaning loud, You’re both dripping in sweat, hair is a wreck, the room is hot and smelling like sex. She’s still lying on the couch naked, sexy and covered in sweat. She grabs a blanket to cover herself. You jump up and quickly put your shorts on and run to the door. You’re greeted by 2 nice young boys dressed in white shirts and ties who ask if you would like to hear more about our lord and savior Jesus Christ. You nicely decline and reach out your hand for a friendly handshake, completely forgetting that only moments ago your fingers were just deep inside your girlfriends wet pussy.
2. When you’re right in the middle of having some nasty ass sex with your beautiful girlfriend when you suddenly hear a knock on the door. She is moaning loud, You’re both dripping in sweat, hair is a wreck, the room is hot and smelling like sex. She’s still lying on the couch naked, sexy and covered in sweat. She grabs a blanket to cover herself. You jump up and quickly put your shorts on and run to the door. You’re greeted by 2 nice young boys dressed in white shirts and ties who ask if you would like to hear more about our lord and savior Jesus Christ. You nicely decline and reach out your hand for a friendly handshake, completely forgetting that only moments ago your fingers were just deep inside your girlfriends wet pussy.
by StarGirl;) June 26, 2022
Get the Mormon handshake mug.A large van with 8+ seats. Large vans used to accommodate large Mormon families or other large families. Often seen at tourist destinations.
by 2kul4skool October 28, 2025
Get the Mormon limousine mug.Common mispronunciation of "Game warden" usually what you will hear an Asian fisherman yell to his fishing buddies when the Game warden shows up.
Hey this is the Game warden! Show us your fishing licenses
Gay mormon? Oh shit better dump this 5 gallon bucket of full of trout !
Gay mormon? Oh shit better dump this 5 gallon bucket of full of trout !
by Anton H November 13, 2025
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