coffee bum

A coffee bum is someone who mooches coffee from a co-worker or the office coffee fund but never gives any money to the fund or re-pays the person with the coffee. They are even known to leave a cup of coffee in the coffee pot , without making a new pot of coffee. Their best move is making change with the coffee fund money, then leaving the less than pot of coffee on the burner, until it turns to Carbon-12 on burndown mode and the fire alarm goes off.

Dick :

Hey Harry do you have any coffee ?

Harry:

Yeah man

Tom:

That f** ing dick never brings any coffee.

He is a f#$#ing coffee bum

Sally:

WTF is that smell!?!? ?

Harry:

It’s the coffee pot again! Some coffee bum didn't finish the pot.

Once again the Dick walks away. But he did make change.

by The Dude of the Stupid April 9, 2019

toilet coffee

When you end up having to shit right when you take your first sip of coffee, and you end up drinking it on the can

That cup of toilet coffee was the best cuppa ever!!

by Sarcia26 May 8, 2019

No Coffee No Talkie

No other person may speak until the person drinking coffee finishes doing so.

"Do not speak to me until I've drank my coffee, No Coffee No Talkie." *sips* "Now, you may speak".

by Wizerd1889 October 2, 2019

coffee fap

When you rub one out prior to a coffee nap, resulting in the most sublime 30 minutes of rest you've ever had.

Dude, I had the best coffee fap this afternoon, and now I'm ready to take on the world!

by Trollalalala December 28, 2017

Coffee enema

It's when a little Italian barista pumps your asshole full of espresso and then flushes it out only to serve it to your best friend

Dude I so totally got a coffee enema earlier. Pete loved the chewy bits

by Another forsaken February 8, 2020

quarantine coffee

quarantine coffee is just like regular coffee, but with vodka. and no coffee.

*zoom meeting, 9AM*
Mr Smith, are you drunk? It is nine in the morning!
You: eehhh noo jusst sreee cupss of quarantine coffee

by entjungferinator3002 April 26, 2020

Coffee Cut

Being really specific about how you want your hair cut. Like ordering Coffee.

She was getting a Coffee Cut at the stylist.

by ragingcolt1029 September 19, 2017