God

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God

by OEididiiriekdkjdiekksks February 14, 2019

God

A lazy-ass fuck who manages to rule all the laws of the Universe despite his obvious lack of will or energy, being lazy and all (and probably fat).

Father : You smoke drugs, sleep all day and achieve nothing! What do you want to do with your life?!!
Son : Why should I wanna do anything? God doesn’t.

by AlabamaBaby April 7, 2021

God

Doesn’t exist lol

That god guy is not real lol

by The fence November 15, 2019

God

Modern Definition) The "all powerful" person in the sky you blame when something bad happens to you and thank when something good happens to you.

Extremist Definition) The person who created the world and controls the laws of physics. You will go to hell if you defy him so if he asks you to fly a plane into a building, do so or you will be punished in the afterlife.

Atheist Definition) The imaginary figure who was created by man to explain things man didn't understand and continuously revised to not look obsolete in the face of science. This figure is given credit for natural disasters, good rain, and the work of men.

Doctor: I have good news, after 36 hours of surgery with a team of 5 doctors, we were able to save your baby's life. Our doctors were called back from their vacation so you should...

Mother: Thank the Lord!

Doctor: Um, maybe you should thank the...

Mother: Oh God! I am so grateful for your mercy, I will pray to you everyday!

by MOMOSAKE July 31, 2016

God

An amazing person that will always forgive you even when done wrong. He loves you for who you are and knows more about you than you even know yourself. He will make you day way brighter than anyone could possibly make it and protects you with his love, kindness. And holieness. He loves us forever and always.

God so loved the world that he gave us his one and only son to die on the cross for our sins.

God loves you always.

The haters of God will never win.

by Fireflies November 15, 2017

God

There is none. Don't even bother arguing. You know that there is none. We can't all be correct, the Buddhists and the Christians and the Hindus and the Islams and the Muslims and the Pagans and everybody else can't possibly be correct. If everyone was correct, their jobs would be really horrible. If anybody was correct, at all, why do you think they would let every world crisis happen? The shootings and the cancer and the Hitler and the global warming and the anger and the assaults and Trump and the homelessness should not have happened. If there was a god, mabye they could have prevented that. But there isn't one. Wouldn't it be funny if all of the gods were real? Just be floating up in the sky, whacking each other Three Stooges style? Oh well. Time goes on.

Burns: SMITHERS!!
Smithers: Yes sir?
Burns: Wait with me while I pray to the eternal almighty God to solve the worlds problems

by thatpixelgirl October 14, 2019

God

Shaggy rogers, a being with unimaginable power. He could destroy every multiverse and peality using only 1%of his power. He is out true god.

"Hey dude did you say thanks to the god?"
"Yeah i thanked jesus for my family and food"
"no im talking about the god of gods"
"oh yeah...i know who you are talking about just...dont say his name."
"yeah if you say it then you die...its just too much for a mere mortal like us to handle"

by WHat the frickedy frick March 1, 2019