Monkey's Paw

A "monkeys paw" is when you're taking a shower and you're out of wash cloths Once you get to washing your ass, you soap up your hand and get down there to clean it all out with that soapy bare hand. You're then left with a clean ass but in return, no matter how much you clean that hand, it feels dirty for the rest of the day.

I cant eat tacos today, I gave myself a Monkey's paw this morning and I forgot which hand it was.

by Dandalorian December 15, 2022

beat the monkey to the road

To "beat the monkey to the road" is to anticipate an issue and take steps to mitigate it before it becomes a problem. Being proactive.

"Let's beat the monkey to the road and pick up the beer when we go for the crabs. We don't want to be stuck sitting in traffic!"

by kastagire July 28, 2021

Chunky Monkey

The best flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

This chunky monkey is fucking delicious you black nigger.

by anonymous May 8, 2023

fart monkey

the moment when a monkey farts

darn that was a fart monkey

by Ancdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz November 6, 2020

Monkey Arms

What happens to your arms when you are continually patting yourself on your back...

John had monkey arms after he finished his project.

by scooter133 June 15, 2016

The Kansas City Mud Monkey

When you bone your lady in the ass until she shits on your pecker, then gives you a handjob.

Joanne was on the rag last night and I was horny, so we did the Kansas City Mud Monkey on the kitchen table.

by AK Daddy July 6, 2016

Boom Boom Monkey

Racists Term for a Muslim man

Your a fucking boom boom monkey

by Shtboxslider November 20, 2022