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Schrödinger

Girl (12 years old): Holy guacamole I have never seen a schrödinger before!
Me (43 years old): Yes I know and it's still fresh even though I'm 43
Girl (12 years old): Isn't that a bit weird that you're 43 and im 12?
Me (43 years old): No? There's nothing weird about it; I'll come over to your house tommorow, just make sure your parents aren't home.
Girl (12 years old): Okay, hehe.
Me (43 years old): Can't wait to have SOOOOO much fun.
by theblueytimes November 26, 2024
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Schrodinger's Aim

A joking term in video gaming. Said to someone or to oneself when their shooting accuracy is somehow both deadly accurate and extremely abysmal at random times throughout a game round or session.
"Bro, how are you somehow getting major kill streaks and making some of the worst shots I've ever seen in my life right now?"
"I don't know, man. I have Schrodinger's Aim tonight."
by Dexen Xeptar November 30, 2024
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schrodinger's threesome

having a threesome with 2 ladyboys. You are both gay and straight at the same time since you are fucking 2 halfs a woman and 2 halfs a man.
Person 1: What did you do last night?

Person 2: I had a Schrodinger's Threesome man. Does that make me gay?

Person 1: Both?
by Iwritefunnywords December 19, 2024
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schrodingers jerk session

def

When somebody is both jerkin it and not jerking at the same time they could have sticky hands while nobody knows
Bludbro: i think im jerking it but im not jerking it

Blawg: huhh well how do you know

Bludbro: idk i just feel it its like the schrodingers jerk session
by Testicleinspectorangelgoat December 20, 2024
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Schrödinger's Blowjob

A thought experiment involving a blindfold, a guy, and a girl. While blindfolded, you receive a blowjob from one of them, but you don’t know who. The act remains "not gay" until the blindfold is removed. As long as you don’t look, it’s assumed the girl is doing the job—thereby keeping things hetero by default.
Bro, I got a Schrödinger's Blowjob, I think the dude sucked my dick because he was wiping his lips afterwards.
by dingusdugglas January 29, 2025
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Schrödingers Slag.

A girl, whom appears as if they look skinny, fat, dirty, and showered all at the same time. Often on par with people you would see at a Walmart.
“She seemed as a Schrödingers slag, I wouldn’t go for her.”

“No one could tell if Jenny was a 2, or a 10, Jenny would be considered Schrödingers slag.”

"Sarah was a true 'Schrödinger's slag'. She could be a decent human being when she wanted to be, but most of the time she was just a pain in the ass.”
by westcoast1n January 29, 2025
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Schrödinger's DEI

when a tragic incident (mass shooting, fatal plane crash, etc) occurs but the government doesn't know yet whether the person who caused it was a white man or a woman/person of color/LGBTQ+/immigrant/
kate: "did you hear about that plane crash? they're still investigating it, no one knows what happened."

allan: "i heard it was because DEI, fox said the pilot may have been italian. kinda a Schrödinger's DEI thing for now, i guess."

kate: "...i forgot i have a... thing to do... somewhere else...? bye"
by murkybongwater January 30, 2025
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