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Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.
Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.
by slapyourstick October 14, 2011
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teary wank

As the name implies, having a little cry while self-pleasuring.
He was sad and alone so he had a teary wank.
by sadselfpleasure June 14, 2011
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The King's Wank

A jack off session so great, so utterly phenomenal that it could save the world from all it's problems.
The King's Wank is said to happen on July 22nd 2028 at 11:36PM East coast time. in which a man will fulfill the legendary prophecy.

It is said that the producer of The King's Wank once fulfilled, will ascend to a higher plane of existence.
The King's Wank will come soon.
by Snozingly7 January 28, 2023
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Mannequin Wank

When you see a mannequin wearing some sexy article of clothing, go home, and have a wank.
Person 1: I was at walmart the other day.
Person 2: and?
Person 1: I saw a mannequin in yoga pants, went home after and had a mannequin wank.
by Squidissued October 19, 2019
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Liberation Wank

Getting oneself off after an extensive no nut period whereby one’s swimmers have been harshly imprisoned in the man sack. The liberation wank is vigorous cock spank that releases a load of roping jizz of biblical proportion.
After no nut November, I’m looking forward to liberation wank. It will be borderline physical self abuse.

My dom edged me daily for over two months. She finally told me I could pleasure myself and that was a liberation wank of a magnitude never before seen. The ropes were slinging ceiling high.
by Dick Onchin November 23, 2020
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Wank Cabbage

Wank Cabbage is a term that you call someone when is being stupid and not doing the right thing. We all know someone can do something wrong whether it be a friend or person.. Just any type of human really or animal or thing.. Just anything to be honest
Kat: Has Boris made the announcement tonight?
Kat's Mom: Yeah that wank cabbage put us into lockdown again
Kat: Interesting
by NocturnalDonkey69 January 5, 2021
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Diamond Wank

A prolonged wanking experience in which legs are placed into a diamond position. Invented by Diamond Dave
by Rourkenator November 12, 2021
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