Jared

Missing hair follicles, extremely bald. Has a one-piece character build. Overall a 1 in looks. Knows his way around a women. Not the sharpest person in the room.

Jared’s bald as shit

by MaxtheMeattree March 8, 2024

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Mayonnaise jaring

The act of nutting in one’s butt then shoving a butt plug in the hole.

Person: Hey did you know George is well known for mayonnaise jaring?

Other Person: Really! I better go ask if he’s taking appointments!

by chumpaIumpa March 21, 2022

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Jared is a hardworking individual who values his woman and his children above all else. He enjoys watching TV and taking long naps in his free time. He never hesitates to drop the F Bomb or call you a dumbass but that's just his special way of saying that he loves and cares about you. People that know Jared know that he may or may not have a drinking problem but people that are especially close to him know that he has his reasons for tipping back a bottle the way he does. When Jared gets comfortable with someone he will let loud stinky farts fly and blame it on the cat that wasn't even on the same floor when it happened. Jared might seem like a hard ass but in his heart he is a real genuinely caring man that will always help someone who needs it.. even if it mean that he is going to have to go without. Jared can be a very curious man, but not curious enough to leave the comfort of his spot on the couch to go out and satisfy that curiosity. He secretly has a lot of pain and hurt under his tough outer shell but you would never know that unless you were living in the same house as him and he decided to vent to you after having a bit too much to drink and he was feeling extra emotional. If I'm being truly honest I would day if you have a Jared in your life you should call him up and let him know you care and that you value him as a friend because it's not every day you meet a guy as friendly and goofy as a Jared. Oh yeah.. and as stubborn. Almost forgot that one.

Jared is a great significant other and a wonderful and loving father that anyone would be blessed tremendously to have in their life.

by Walker Tech Drive Ranger August 10, 2022

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Jared

His jawlines, shoulders, and muscles are the best! You have to think about what he looks like nude, you might not be gay though. ;)

"I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles push against his fashion sense. I've thought about what he looks like nude, I'm not gay though. >:("
"Yeah! Jared's jawlines, shoulders, muscles are the greatest!"

by Storyswap Chara August 22, 2021

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