Self righteous douchebags who will be your best friend until you join the cult and everyone then treats you like any imperfections they can nit-pick off of you are mortal sins
by Rabbitfox February 21, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.A main focus of the church of Jesus’ Christ of Latter Day Saints is on families. One purpose of their temples is to be eternally sealed as a family so you can be together forever. Resurrection part 2(heaven) is made up of three little groups depending how you lived your life; celestial, terrestrial, and telestrial.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Me: This is a rant and it barely scratches the surface. Go to the church website, lds.org, for their values, they have a dictionary thing that states their beliefs on certain topics. For stuff against the church, the ces letter by Jeremy runnels is a good place to start. Another good spot is YouTube interviews with Ex-Mormons.
by Macetree November 28, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.When you go to a church dance with all your Mormon friends and the next day you wake up with a headache, you legs are sore from all the line dancing and you can't remember the names of all the people you danced with.
by Penetration statio September 19, 2017
Get the Mormon Hangover mug.A term for something or someone that, on the surface, appears entirely wholesome, innocent, or conventional, but secretly possesses an unexpected, often edgy, rebellious, or surprisingly unconventional side. It's the hidden kick in an otherwise sweet package.
Derived from the common association of "Mormon" with clean-cut living, combined with "milkshake" (especially in its pop culture sense) implying a hidden allure or "something extra."
Derived from the common association of "Mormon" with clean-cut living, combined with "milkshake" (especially in its pop culture sense) implying a hidden allure or "something extra."
Example 1:
"Did you see Sarah's new tattoo? Who knew she was such a Mormon milkshake!"
Example 2:
"This indie band's music sounds like a lullaby, but then the lyrics drop some seriously dark philosophy. Total Mormon milkshake."
Example 3:
"My grandma's knitting circle is a Mormon milkshake; they gossip about the wildest stuff while making baby booties."
"Did you see Sarah's new tattoo? Who knew she was such a Mormon milkshake!"
Example 2:
"This indie band's music sounds like a lullaby, but then the lyrics drop some seriously dark philosophy. Total Mormon milkshake."
Example 3:
"My grandma's knitting circle is a Mormon milkshake; they gossip about the wildest stuff while making baby booties."
by HappyCamper2069 July 18, 2025
Get the Mormon Milkshake mug.Master Chief: "Have you seen the inasive species taking over a state called Nevada known as a Mormon Cricket?"
Lego Padme: "Yeah, where is the Frog Army?"
Lego Padme: "Yeah, where is the Frog Army?"
by WitherAreDanger June 24, 2023
Get the Mormon Cricket mug..
mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."
by SuchBackSmacker March 12, 2025
Get the mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword." mug.Common mispronunciation of "Game warden" usually what you will hear an Asian fisherman yell to his fishing buddies when the Game warden shows up.
Hey this is the Game warden! Show us your fishing licenses
Gay mormon? Oh shit better dump this 5 gallon bucket of full of trout !
Gay mormon? Oh shit better dump this 5 gallon bucket of full of trout !
by Anton H November 13, 2025
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