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Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass

A description of the state of rigor mortis, usually in a victim who has died where discovery of the death is delayed until after rigor has commenced

A reference to a rural belief that some members of the clergy frequently have anal sex with farm animals, particularly young calves
"They found him dead out in the woods. He was stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass."
by Redd D. Ringbone February 24, 2010
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Preacher's Hands

Often manicured, clean, soft, and free of scars, callouses, or any other evidence of actual labor, preacher's hands indicate a life of idle preaching.
"That Habitat for Humanity recruiter was full of shit. How can he claim to build anything? He's got total preacher's hands."

"My boss says he knows how to fix a car, but have you seen his preacher's hands? The only fixing he can do is with a credit card."
by Charmingly Grouchy June 29, 2010
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preacher cuff

Hateful Man. Person who pretends to be your buddy, then puts a knife or some time bomb bullshit in your brain.
This preacher cuff hook me
How so?
He told me he was yours.
by OhThisGuy21 October 22, 2017
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The Preacher Effect

The feeling you get when someone has reached so far into what you are doing it feels like they have inserted themselves into your every crevasse of your anal canal
Adam felt The Preacher Effect so much he could read the guys wrist watch protruding from his mouth.

That was the worst Preacher Effect of my life. Now my arse is so stretched 4 squatters have permanently moved in to ease the pain.
by EvLovesGoldenRivets November 16, 2020
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Health Preacher

Someone who is vegan, refuses to take the vaccine, buys expensive eco friendly products, thinks they are saving the planet by buying a bamboo toothbrush. Will happily splurge £80 on a mystery bag of white powder from Devo on the corner who claims its fire coke.

Will spend 4 hours debating about how bad it is that donkeys are being killed in Tunisia and it should be stopped now because it's awful.

But will smash a full McDonalds when they are a drink.
Oh Becky the other day was chatting so much shit about her new vegan diet and all her eco friendly products. She is such a health preacher
by NomadWordMaker January 7, 2021
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Prompter Preacher

All television on-camera news personalities that pontificate and deliver pious news messages or tragic stories with a sober look and serious tone in their voice. They are not the writers of the story but simply the messengers of guilt to the camera.
That tv anchor seems humbled by the drought's impact on the Somali people, but really he's nothing more than a prompter preacher.

Did you hear all the prompter preaches today? They're all saying that higher taxes on me will somehow solve all the country's problems.
by Da Do Run Run January 18, 2021
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Preachers Accent

When someone is screaming, raising their voice, and you can tell they are a preacher.
Damn, Mr Jackson Got Preachers Accent.
by dumbolovesdummy April 15, 2021
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