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Unemployment

A symptom of the failure and insanity of modern society.

If there is something to do, then how can there be unemployment? There is work to do - we go do it. It's that simple.
And if there is nothing to do, can't the rich creeps just leave us alone?

No, they can't. Because unemployment was fabricated by the rich cocksuckers in order to keep wages down and keep the lower classes scared and busy. Because if you're afraid you might lose your job - which allows you to purchase tenancy/ food/ clothes from the rich - you keep your mouth shut and you keep working no matter how dumb the job is. And if the wage is shit you keep quiet because at least you're getting some dough with which to pay rent/ alimony/ student loans/ dinner.

Meanwhile we see the proliferation of computerization, robotization, mechanization, miniaturization, and other -zations - meaning there is less and less useful stuff left to do. Most work out there is bullshit. (At least) 70% of us can stop working today (everyone except the people doing real work, who incidentally are the worst paid - the farmers, the janitors, the maintenance workers, the construction workers, etc), and life will go on just fine. Except everyone will have more leisure and less worry.

But we can't have that. Oh no. The rich are just keeping us busy so we fail to notice how they are getting away with murder.

Unemployment is as dumb as planned obsolescence. The future generations will look at us with horror and derision.
Unemployment has found Joe:

Joe: Shit, I can't find a job.
Frank: You mean you are a strong, intelligent young person who is willing to work for the benefit of the rich, and they won't even let you do that?
Joe: Yeah.
Frank: So where do you live? What do you eat?
Joe: I live in my mom's basement. I eat macaroni and sometimes I eat cheese.
Frank: How do you fill your days?
Joe: Well, I don't like fat chicks, and the hot ones think I'm a loser, and I don't have enough dough for speed and smack, so I just drink vodka all day and I masturbate to Internet porn.
Frank: You know what, man?
Joe: I know.
Frank: Fuck the rich!
Joe: Exactly.
by jack kane January 22, 2011
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unemployee

Someone who recently had a job, but lost it in this depressed economic climate.
There are too many unemployees up in here.

I'm an unemployee of GM.
by ESLer June 11, 2009
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The Unemployment Zone

Any area of your body that is typically not covered by clothing, on which you have tattoos. Applied most commonly to the forearms and hands.
Player 1: Hey bro, how did your job interview go?
Player 2: Boss told me I got the job, but I'll have to cover up my unemployment zone.

Player 1: Dude, I am so pumped! Tomorrow I get sleeved!
Player 2: Does your boss at that law firm know you're about to enter the unemployment zone?
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Unemployment

the act of setting ones self free, by taking your hard earned tax dollars back from the State. i.e. Boobs, Dubes & Tubes
Step into my office...why? Because you're fucking laid off! Join you're local Unemployment Club, i.e UCPB = The unemployment Club of Pacific Beach, California.
by Thor the Destroyer April 25, 2003
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Unemployment Bath

Using the pool as a means of personal hygiene since traditional bathing methods are no longer required and the entire day can be spent poolside
Bro: Dude, you smell like chlorine.
Loser: Yeah, ever since I lost my job I've just be taking unemployment baths.
by joblessandfree May 7, 2009
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Unemployment Cooties

fear of interacting with an unemployed person for fear that whatever caused him or her to be unemployed will transfer to you. Originally used by John Stewart on the Daily Show.
After I lost my job, all of my "friends" suddenly became too busy to spend time with me. I guess I have unemployment cooties.
by wouldaben January 4, 2011
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unemployment tree

In southern ghettos, its the large neighborhood oak tree that unemployed blacks gather under to hang out all day.
Tyrone: you gonna play cards under the unemployment tree today?

Jerome: you know dat... i aint got no work to go to. Muh dick.
by Kikeslammer1488 May 28, 2018
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