Facebook Philosopher 

An individual whose Facebook statuses are often chiched quotes such as "when in doubt, just take the next small step", "make peace with the past so it doesn't screw up the present", or "sometimes its hard to understand, but time tells truth." These give the impression that said Facebook user is wise, when in fact they are merely putting on airs.

A: "Wow, Jeff is pretty deep!"

B: "Nah, he's just a Facebook Philosopher"

Facebook Philosopher by twentyXDsix July 31, 2009

Couch Philosopher 

An individual who starts a typical day at 12:30pm to 1pm, and before doing anything they rip from a bong. Many are men in their late teens to early 20s living at their parents house (without any desire to leave) and if they aren't taking college classes online they are taking a gap year (or three) before deciding to sack-up and go to college where they would have to socialize. They are most commonly known to smoke weed ALL day watching their favorite animated shows in the basement and only having enough money to make a run to Taco Bell or some other grease trap. The typical couch philosopher doesn't have a car and just walks everywhere or bums rides... if they do have a car the oil hasn't been changed for about 5 years. Their favorite activity is to sit on the couch all day coming up with as many reasons why weed is the best thing in the world, how society should just smoke up 24/7, how they love licking liberal taint, and how cigarettes are so much worse for you. What they don't realize is that weed made them an apathetic fuck....A "Couch Philosopher"

Person 1- Why don't you like going to Dave's house?

Person 2- I actually wanna do something with my life and I feel like his laziness is going to rub off on me...plus i don't wanna hear those couch philosophers lecture me on the advantages of weed all day and why i shouldn't smoke my cigs.

Person 1- Shit.... your right, Daves going nowhere in life

Couch Philosopher by Pnation July 18, 2012

stoned Philosopher 

The full background and reason for the very existence and funcuality of the most innate objects—usually sounds stupid except to the philosopher

Dave: “Was I a stoned philosopher last night?”

Otto: “Yea bro! You were talking about how their should squirrel whistles on cars and how they might cut down on motor vehicle fatalities. And then you started laughing and started chanting:
‘So-Crates, So-Crates, So-Crates”

stoned Philosopher by LuckDog November 29, 2017

homeless philosopher 

a burnout, a failure, a kid with no future besides prison, someone with a million ideas that require someone else to fund them, and still lives at his parents at 30

my friends dad direct quote, "A i think bryan is on drugs or retarded or something don't hang out with that guy anymore he is gunna grow up to be a homeless philosopher"

homeless philosopher by shresdthesupergnargnar April 12, 2015

Facebook Philosopher 

A person who comes up with quotes by themselves in their everyday life that they believe are worth posting to Facebook, when some of them are even good enough to be actual modern philosophies. Such as "People don't Care about your life unless it relates to their own".

Dude, Jacob is such a Facebook Philosopher!

Facebook Philosopher by Sharksfan831 June 13, 2012

a philosopher's orgasm 

The philosopher’s orgasm is an acute feeling of bliss that occurs after a profound thought or experience. It can be described it as the mind’s “gears falling into place.”

Few men in history can claim to have felt abject satisfaction and bliss simply from thinking, and those who do have experienced a philosopher's orgasm, the complete harmony between logical thought and emotion.

a philosopher's orgasm by Amerek Manixen April 8, 2016

Armchair Philosopher 

Generally these people are pompous, drug induced, morons.

They usually wear beanies or a loose fitting t-shirt and dirty clothes. They spend their days by the TV smoking weed and watching rick&morty. They watch the Joe rogan podcast and believe that aliens are everywhere and that the CIA have time machines.

You may confuse them with tinfoil wearers but they are a little less nuts. They believe that them and only them understand the universe and that they are unique and special... But they work for minimum wage and get their facts from unreliable sources and use blanket terms to make their points seems more air tight. When you challenge them on these views then they usually get angry and aggressive but be assured that they haven't been in a fight since their mate stole their pokemon card.

These people are not credible and lack all intellect that they need to make valid conclusions. They will tout unionism as good and capitalism as bad. They believe that the police can't come in their house if they say they can't and they are deluded enough to believe that they are important.

Enjoy your day!

Hey Tom, see Kevin?

Yeah.

Well he's become a pot head and believes the moon landing was fake. God, another Armchair Philosopher!

Armchair Philosopher by Scottish Dictionary March 26, 2020