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The Conspiracy Theory Against Muffins and Cupcakes

Many people like to say that muffins are ugly cupcakes.
This is my theory:
It is not that muffins are ugly cupcakes, but that cupcakes are altered and frosted muffins. The dye on them refers to tanning and the frosting refers to an excess amount of makeup. Cupcakes are whores in the muffin world, while muffins are pure and natural.

Now tell me, whose the ugly dessert now?
Belle: Muffins > Cupcakes
Monica: Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
Jared: Actually, cupcakes are just altered muffins with makeup on. I call this the conspiracy theory against muffins and cupcakes.
Belle: So cupcakes are whores?
Jared: That would be weird because cupcakes are inanimate objects. But yes, exactly.
by Jared Stein & Belle Miranda March 25, 2012
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poo muffin

(noun)
1) A muffin made chiefly of poo.
2) An obsolete computer monitor worth basically nothing. A computer monitor that should be thrown away and replaced with a much better, newer widescreen LCD monitor
3) An object or event that evokes negative feelings in someone.
4) (adj) Something or someone that is "just plain shitty", inferior.
1) "Mmmm, what's that smell?" "Oh I'm just baking some poo muffins"

2) Wesley should get a new monitor and get rid of his poo muffin.

3) Ahhhh... this is just poo muffin. I can't get tickets to see Primus on Friday.

4) You, dear sir, are plainly poo muffin.
by LaceyP November 16, 2006
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German Muffin

Nobody really knows. Sounds like a sex position.
by Ron motherfuckin' Swanson December 7, 2011
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Muffin Slasher

Term used to describe a categorical serial killer of sexual intercourse. This guy will sleep with anything. He'll take it wherever and whenever he can get it. His psychological profile is limited to the simple question: do they have a vagina? He has no regard for his own sexual health, nor that of others. He dirties his glans in the pool of communal poon without a second thought. Has no standards.
Friend J: "Holy shit, I've heard Friend A took home another rotter last night."

Friend N: "He has no standards. I've heard he slept with Friends F and M too!"

Friend J: "That guy's a muffin slasher."
by Wrong Button October 1, 2014
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Muffin Top Derby

A Muffin Top Derby is an event that occurs when two or more morbidly obese people in fat scooters fight over something. Although the first Muffin Top Derby occurred in an Oklahoma Walmart over a box of Twinkies in 2009 venues have grown and there are a reported 7000 Muffin Top Derbys nationwide annually, occurring in Walmarts, McDonalds, Burger Kings, Wendys, and Taco Bells. At first Muffin Top Derbys were occurrences of nature, but now they have become more organized with betting, planned events, and some have even petitioned for an official league to cater to the large and... err, large. Unfortunately there has been resistance to this new sport in many states, leading to bans in number of Countys and Towns. This resistance is one of the reasons an organized Muffin Top Leauge ( MTL ) has not been created. Muffin Top Derbys can be observed in pop culture such as South Park, and Family Guy.

Never get between an American and their Twinke.
Guy 1: Did you see that Muffin Top Derby last night at Walmart?
Guy 2: Yeah, I lost an assload of money. I could have sworn that the Lard Dragon was going to win...
Guy 1: My bet is on the Twinke Bandito.
Guy 3: McDominator FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by IanPeterFreeley April 27, 2015
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Muffin King

The king of all muffins, very deadly
"oh god! 125,120,861 people where killed last year by the Muffin King!"
by Legatox June 12, 2008
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Muffinstuff

A person who is tiny or has a tiny body, but has a big head and/or fluffy,spikey or crazy hairdo. They resemble a muffin, because muffins have a tiny bottom part with a huge fluffy top part, just with alot more stuff on them than a muffin. may be used as a degrading term for a short or tiny person.
person A: LOL THAT PERSONS HEAD IS DISPROPORTIONAL TO HIS BODY! WHAT A MUFFINSTUFF

person B: HAHAH YEAH! HIS HEAD IS TOO BIG AND HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY! LIKE A MUFFINSTUFF

person C: HEY YOU! CAN I CALL YOU MUFFINSTUFF??

person D: AWW, POOR LITTLE MUFFINSTUFF CANT REACH THE TOP SHELF?
by copyrighttoy October 25, 2010
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