A military installation in the Mojave Desert of California. Is 3 hours away from the nearest city, and 45 minutes away from the nearest town--Barstow--which is little more than a collection of meth labs and trailer parks. Touted by top brass as the 'cutting edge' maneuver training center, it is instead where those who have never fought a war attempt to teach tactics to thrice-over veterans of recent conflicts. When not conducting combat operations in Iraq, Soldiers stationed at this base are known for their alcoholism, occasional proclivity toward crystal meth and lack of free time or a normal sex life.
Soldier's friends at home: "Wow, you're stationed in California, you're lucky..."
Soldier: "It's not California like in CHIPS; It's Fort Irwin. Just shut the fuck up. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
Friends: "..Are you okay? You used to be such a sweet boy..."
Soldier: "It's not California like in CHIPS; It's Fort Irwin. Just shut the fuck up. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
Friends: "..Are you okay? You used to be such a sweet boy..."
by dickhole April 12, 2006
A man who knew every animal wanted to kill him but still held then and told them how beautiful they were. He will be forever missed. We did not deserve this man
by Yodertoter June 20, 2018
While having sex with the mouth of a stingray, you stab it's barb into itself while you climax. This causes the stingray to tense up, maximizing your pleasure. Named in honor of the late Steve Irwin.
After noodling a stingray at the beach, you decide to have "Irwin's Revenge" with it. After flipping it on its back, you force your dick into its mouth. As you climax, you stab it in the chest with its own barb.
by EG205 May 31, 2010
by steve irwin fan September 06, 2006
by Bobob213 April 07, 2019
One of the shittiest places anyone will ever encounter in their whole life. Nobody fuckin likes it here, and if you say you do - you're lying! Who you kiddin??
For those of you men looking to get laid, keep looking. There are no women at Fort Irwin and the ones that are here fall into one of the following categories: fat and ugly, pregnant, or an alcoholic.
However, there is an AWESOME night club on base - Cock Wave, I mean, err Shock Wave! It's a cluster fuck of sausages and intoxicated soldiers who hate their lives because they are literally signed to a contract saying they must either live at Fort Irwin, or blow your brains out.
Once in a rare, rare while, you will meet someone who actually enjoys living in the fuckin desert. This person is automatically a douche bag and probably hasnt enjoyed much of anything in their life. If you ever meet this person, please tell them to go "fuck themselves" and keep moving.
For those of you men looking to get laid, keep looking. There are no women at Fort Irwin and the ones that are here fall into one of the following categories: fat and ugly, pregnant, or an alcoholic.
However, there is an AWESOME night club on base - Cock Wave, I mean, err Shock Wave! It's a cluster fuck of sausages and intoxicated soldiers who hate their lives because they are literally signed to a contract saying they must either live at Fort Irwin, or blow your brains out.
Once in a rare, rare while, you will meet someone who actually enjoys living in the fuckin desert. This person is automatically a douche bag and probably hasnt enjoyed much of anything in their life. If you ever meet this person, please tell them to go "fuck themselves" and keep moving.
Friend 1: "I feel so bad for Bill, he just got orders to Fort Irwin."
Friend 2: "Wow! That really sucks. I heard its the worst place on Earth."
Friend 2: "Wow! That really sucks. I heard its the worst place on Earth."
by fort irwin ruined my life May 22, 2010
This guy got stabbed in the heart by a bloody stingray and still pulled the barb out of his chest before he died. Now that's a real man.
by i pooted September 06, 2006