Buying a monkey

A situation in which someone who has recently come into a very large sum of money goes and buys weird, unusual, or taboo things, simply because they can. The phrase itself is derived from Michael Jackson, who bought a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles in the 80's following the success of his album Thriller.

Person 1: I've just fucking won 20 million in the lottery

Person 2: Man, that's a lot of money, what are you going to buy?

Person 1: I'm buying a monkey.

by rollacethejazzmaster September 5, 2021

Monkeys

Ok as a kid they might look cute but they suck ASS the show their penis to women and beat their meat till it cums they are rude they always fight they get mad ever time sure they might have same thing as humans but really no

i loves monkeys

i guess ya never heard of that video of someone having a monkey and ending up dark

by YAY_fucktheinternet September 12, 2021

monkey piss

basically heroin

yo homie you wanna do some monkey piss befor school

by mason hagen September 13, 2021

monkey?

ooohhoooahhhahhh doge heavy ooohhoooahhhahhh doge light

realy monkey?

by hunju September 14, 2021

Porch Monkey

Another term for Lawn Jockey. A statue of a black stable boy on your front lawn.

Hey Ricky Bobby, nice Porch Monkey you got there. Thank you Jim Bob.

by Fischhead September 14, 2021

Monkey

Your mother, Specifically your birth mother, the one whom birthed you through the transition of your fathers sperm into her PUSSY.

Yo mama a monkey (thas on JAH)

by Justin McGinnis September 15, 2021

The Great Monkey Incident

On May 24, 2012, a group of 3 teenagers went to the San Diego Zoo at 3:13 pm. The 3 young boys went to see the monkey exhibit and dared each other to do something extravagant than neither of them would do. 2 of the boys names Marcus and Dillan threw bits of hot dog bread at the monkeys, encouraging harassment of the apes. the final teenager named Carter, bought laxatives from the CVS Pharmacy before entering the Zoo for his mother. Carter thought it was a good idea to throw the laxatives at the monkeys because it would out-do Dillan and Marcus's idea. The monkey consuming the Laxatives in about 20 minutes had major diarrhea and the Zookeepers had to inform everybody to leave the exhibit. Before the residents could leave, the war began. The apes threw their fecal matter at the residents and brought chocolate rain amongst the people. The Zookeepers soon found out who caused this and banned the 3 boys involved in the mess. The reason most don't know about this is because it wasn't as important as say, somebody jumping into an exhibit, so it's all swept under the rug.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk (do not fact check this)

Guy: Hey bro, somebody just talked about The Great Monkey Incident on TikTok!
Bro: The Great Monkey Incident? what the hell is that?
Guy: well basically..........

by Yung motha'fuckin Jimminy Neut September 18, 2021