cock your trumpet

British
To take ages on the toilet, usually taking a really long shit.
"After that long walk I'm gonna go cock my trumpet."

"Oh you're going in? Are you gonna cock your trumpet?"
"Hahaha yeah gonna be ages"
"Ok don't be too long"
by dkamais498 July 04, 2020
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Plumber's Trumpet

This is a sex act is performed when your mouth and lips are placed upon your male partner's anus and you blow into their anus while wrapping your arm around the other side and tapping your fingers upon their erect penis like it is the valves of a trumpet. The desired effect is your partner will yell or scream making them the noise for the trumpet you have just played
Person 1:Yo bro you have some chocolate on your lips

Person 2: That's not chocolate I was just giving Tom a Plumber's Trumpet
by Juic3HD December 06, 2019
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anal trumpet

When you blow into ones asshole, and it makes a sound like a trumpet
Hey lover come here and let me play your anal trumpet
by TrÜtH February 22, 2016
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burnt trumpet

A derivative of a rusty trombone without the pesky slide.

1. A musical instrument found in the ashes of a fire;

2. What happens after the glory hole factory's annual 50 hole dash where some folks weren't following the rules.
Examples:
1. Hey, look, I found this burnt trumpet near the chimney;
2. Naw dude I'm not going to work, again today. Monday was rough, still trying to get all the shit off my burnt trumpet.
by FMBC25 December 23, 2024
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hiney trumpet

What you would call someone or, more specifically, someone's bum when they have a loud, rumbling passing of gas.
Oh my god, did you just fart? I felt that hiney trumpet over here!

Dude, seriously? You're a damn hiney trumpet!
by piratefire777 February 12, 2016
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Fiery trumpet

After a night of spicy indian food with your female date, while getting head while she is on all fours you wrap your arms around her stomach performing somewhat of a heimlich maneuver spraying spicy fecal matter about the room.
"Had a fun date bro gave Samanta the old fiery trumpet"
by Mtg187 September 19, 2017
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Muffled Trumpet

When you sense you lady friend is about to flatulate in the act of cunnilingus, reach your hand between her loins open palmed and gently press against her bum hole, and control the release of wind at your discretion.
Jake: "I can't go down on my wife after Taco Tuesday, if you know what I mean."
Matt: "Yo, you gotta play the muffled trumpet. Works wonders with Lexi. She loves it."
Jake: "Just get up in there?"
Matt: "I straight Miles Davised Lexi last Tuesday. Just take it into your own hands. Pun intended."
by bboymono January 29, 2015
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