blowjob 

the best five minutes of silence a married man can ask for.

"She kept on yakking and yakking about her friends that I finally shut her up by having her give me a blowjob."

blowjob by Gary March 1, 2004

vacuum blowjob 

A blowjob by either a male or female that feels like placing the penis inside a running vacuum. Includes excessive sucking noises and scrapes by the teeth.

Janey sucked me so hard and scraped the hell outta my penis. She gave me a Vacuum Blowjob

vacuum blowjob by Javier January 12, 2005

Blowjob 

Blowjob. A common misinterpreted word. You see, as most people think the word derives from the act of getting your genitals sucked or blowed, it does not. As with most jobs, it is the final result that counts, and so the actual meaning of the word is decided by the final result, or more precisely the part where you blow your load. So be careful and don't mix the phrase "I want a blowjob" with "I want you to suck my dick", for with the latter the definition would sadly be to get your dick sucked halfway and then left hanging. Not cool.

For more on Blowjob, check out the alternative definitions.

Dude: I want you to suck my dick until I cum down your throat!
Heather: You mean a blowjob?
Dude: Yes!

Blowjob by Phillassepher November 27, 2012

blowjob cramp

a. When someones jaw muscles are sore from giving blowjobs all day long they get cramped up and their mouth hangs open without showing any teeth.

b. When someones mouth is open forming a perfect O, showing little or no teeth.

Dude, shut your mouth man, you look like you got a blowjob cramp!

Shuttup man, did you just see that girl? she was HOT!!!

yeah, but she saw your mouth open and kept on going didn't she?

blowjob cramp by hypo April 17, 2008

should have been a blowjob 

A person whose existence is the very point of annoyance for most (read: all) who surround him/her. Synonym: douchebag

Joe: Yeah, this kid Sam, he totally busted into the party un-invited and then cut me in line for beer pong. I was like, WTF, dude?
Tom: Yeah, dude, I know that kid. What a waste of human matter. Yeah, that kid should have been a blowjob.

should have been a blowjob by Elizabeth LB December 11, 2008

Battle Creek Blowjob 

When one gives a blowjob while simultaneously inserting a percussion mallet into the anus.

"I thought I was getting a normal blowjob, but she got pretty kinky when she started giving me a Battle Creek Blowjob! That BITCH-ASS!!!!"

Battle Creek Blowjob by Myke Dyker February 12, 2009

Blowjob Season 

The time of the month when ones' spouse or sexual relation has a useless vagina.

Jermaine : 'Yo Andy, did you bang that chick the other night?'

Andy : 'Na man it's blowjob season, I got some head!'

Jermaine : 'Blowjob season is the best'

Blowjob Season by FunkiestCoffee July 12, 2010