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Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.
Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears
by Christophlak June 18, 2024
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Jared McCain

The greatest basketball player ever and the best TikTok dancer.
"Yo man did you hear that Jared McCain put up a quadruple double yesterday?" "Wow I always knew he was the goat."
by Beact December 3, 2024
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Jared on the Chaired

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.
Be good! Jared on the Chaired is watching!
by notoeduw December 21, 2024
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jared padalecki

my beautiful gorgeous delicious sweet amazing(did i mention beautiful?) wife. jared padalecki is the most gorgeous man on earth n honestly should be the president of our country. he has been gorgeous since the 1990s, his specific peak(controversially) being the 2010s. hes been in many goated movies(may i include house of wax?) including friday the 13th the 2009 remaster(where his moobs were outrageously huge), supernatural(where he had luscious hair), and gilmore girls(where he was an extremely sexy jerk). i could write an entire paragraph on this man. he is so incredibly amazingly amazing amazing amazing it never fails to fly over my head. literally the most delicious man ever. extremely bitable and uh.. may i say extremely arousing. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER. if u don’t agree then you are not the brightest in the bunch.
girl: “bazinga!! jared padaleckis man boobs are huge in this movie, lawd have mercy..”

(straight) boy: “biyaaaatch.. imma straight male but giirl u right, he could tots get it.”



random: “have u watched supernatural? season 5 sam makes me wanna combust, dear god.”

another random: “yeah, seeing him made me bust in my pants.”
by eatsjaredpadaleckischewedgum February 24, 2025
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Jared’s girlfriend

Jared girlfriend is a fucking weirdo nobody likes her except sometimes Jared. And she looks like shreck or something. Happy Pancake Tuesday
Is that Jared’s girlfriend
Yeah can she fuck off
by J123345 March 4, 2025
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Jared’s girlfriend

Jared’s girlfriend is a fucking weirdo. She looks like shrek or something and absolutely nobody likes them. She smells really bad and everyone talks about it behind her back. Jared feels bad but he kind of likes it
Is that Jared’s girlfriend

Oh fuck yeah it is hide. Can she just fuck off
by J123345 March 4, 2025
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Jared Effect Theory

Aka the ‘Jared Meeks Phenomenon’ occurs when, something that should go wrong won’t, to enforce one’s ego and ignorance on those around him.
The Jared Effect Theory would consist of someone telling you something profound/unbelievable, then the subject will either complete the task and get consumed by self affirmations, or the subject might come up with any excuse in the world to avoid being looked at as human.
by imchampurchump March 28, 2025
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