A spiritual sexual act, used to assert dominance on the Mormons. To complete the holy act, you will need a flash light, and a crucifix. Once you have convinced the dirty Mormon girl to bless you with her precious womb, you will position her into the “doggy” position. (You must ensure the room is completely dark) as you proceed to pound away, you sneak out the flash light and crucifix. With Cheetah like speed you turn on the flashlight and jam it into her anal cavity, to where the light is shining into your face, and proceed to raise the cross above your head, announcing that Jesus has been resurrected.
“As the light of holiness touched my face, and the cross was above my head, she coward in fear. For Jesus had been rebirth’Ed in her womb. The “Resurrection of Christ.”
by Daddydamon94 January 20, 2021
Get the Resurrection of Christ mug.Rose: Don't go to Central Avenue Church Of Christ. It's really dangerous.
Syra: Why?
Rose: They're a cult and their covering up sexual assault, I should know, I'm one of their victims.
Syra: Why?
Rose: They're a cult and their covering up sexual assault, I should know, I'm one of their victims.
by TheWhistleblower June 7, 2018
Get the Central Avenue Church Of Christ mug.People who say what should have been done before a natural disaster, but after the disaster has already occurred. People who criticize rescue and recovery efforts or say what should be done while sitting on their sofa or couch at home watching it on Tv. Inaction to help, but continue to critique and criticize. - SEE SOFA SAVIOR - people who are going to save the world from their sofa or couch.
While watching Maui rescue on TV, my father turned into a real Couch Christ saying what rescuers should be doing differently. Yet, he has no experience in rescue operations.
by Captain LRC July 12, 2025
Get the Couch Christ mug.Rob: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY FUCKING ARM IS FUCKING CUT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY GOD HELP THE FUCKING PAIN FGFHTDGHFHGDHDFSGRSGHFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKK *inhales* AHAGAGAHGAGAHYHAHAAAAGAGAGGGAGAAAAAAÀÆAAAAAA *lungs start to collapse* HAGHAGHAGAHHGAGAGEEEAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYUUUUUU AUGEGHGHGHGHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *right lung is collapsed* LORD PLEASE SEND ME TO HEAVEN BEFORE I DIE I'M SORRY FOR BEING HORNY, WATCHING HENTAI, AND JERKING OFF, AGAHAGAFGFFGAAAAAAAAAA *fucking dies*
by XxXdickblue1XxX November 16, 2021
Get the jesus fucking christ mug.by Chijioke Victor March 3, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ mug.its when you're jacking off and about to cum then you see jesus on the wall so you end up edging yourself
by sexypogger November 1, 2020
Get the jizzus christ mug.A plastic false face usually Caucasian with a strained look of hope burnt in facial expression leaving dopy arrogant hays on there face at all times.
Did Kevin Sorbo alway have resting christ face? My stomach Never turned from watching that hercules show
by Sub128 January 30, 2021
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