Corporate dozen

A six-pack marketed as a case. Corporate advertising that cynically misleads buyers into thinking they are getting more than they receive.

Contrary to the baker's dozen of 13 to encourage long-term loyalty, the corporate dozen provides less than that advertised for short-term gain. or: The baker's dozen is what we were, and the corporate dozen is what we have become.

by DrTortoise August 15, 2024

Flag

Get the Corporate dozenmug.

Corporate Hitchhiking

corporate Hitchhiking is a term for going job to job, temp job to temp job with hope for all this jumping to add up to a solid high paying job/ career. All this time counting on your resume with its stunning large set of skills and items that are usually useless. You may feel its impressive having 3 to 8 pages of info but to any possible employer its shows you cant hold a job down

Jake: do you believe you can win a job with that 6 page resume.

Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list

by Theamazinggeek June 27, 2017

Flag

Get the Corporate Hitchhikingmug.

Corporate Tortograph Theory

Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.

“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”

by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023

Flag

Get the Corporate Tortograph Theorymug.

Corporate bulimia

Corporate bulimia is when companies grow uncontrollably then inevitably layoff people when they miss their growth forecasts. They "binge" via aggressive hiring, acquisitions and mergers, only to then "purge" via planned and unplanned mass layoffs. Results in a perpetually demoralized, depressed and anxious staff of survivors who then repeat the process until eventually the company goes bankrupt or is sold for parts. Rarely a company actually survives this cycle, thereafter attempting to appear healthy to outsiders while employees continue to suffer in silence. The term is an analogy comparing the neurotic growth of companies to the devastating illness bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder. All-too-often found in vainglorious Silicon Valley growth-focused companies.

"Another ten thousand wage slave layoffs were announced today in the latest rounds of corporate bulimia."

by GarethBeaumains August 15, 2023

Flag