Shit Paper

A colloquial term for the flimsy, nigh see-through, but yet sandpapery tissue in most businesses that is intended for wiping one's ass. This paper usually falls apart upon contact with shit and becomes soggy, while still punishing your hole with 100 grit dingleberries.

The shit paper at work sucks! Not only is my ass still covered in shit, but I feel like I wiped with a lava rock!

by Jackieboy17 July 12, 2017

toilet paper

That one item that was abused shortly after the first wave of Covid

Person: I'm out of toilet paper! How will I wipe my ass?!
Person 2: Good luck, all of the supermarkets are closed due to the pandemic.

by SuperNateParty July 3, 2021

Cutting paper

A synonym for lesbians scissoring aka vag to vag contact.

Man, those lesbians really look like they just got done cutting paper.

by Z2986 November 27, 2016

Paper porn

Also the videos that Paper uploads to Grindr. Basically if you watch paper porn, you’ll get his STDs

Wow I literally just got herpes from watching paper porn.

by Kuandkjnsljc February 14, 2019

Paper boner

The result of changing a large body of text in a word processor from single to double spacing, making your paper look longer

My paper was only 3 pages long until I gave it the old paper boner, now its 6

by Awonymous November 19, 2019

Paper Jockey

Someone who is gainfully employed to push paperwork.

Usually administrative assistants and office underlings. Likely to dwindle in numbers and necessity as computers, automation, and electronic signature pads are reducing paperwork.

That Paper Jockey in the Emergency Room really got me through the admissions process quick!

by Big Red Yeti December 30, 2018

Paper boss

A desk sitting pencil pusher who makes decisions on paper that affect real people's lives.

The paper boss saw a chance to pickup an extra contract so, we're now working double shifts and weekends for the foreseeable future.

by $#!+ #€@d August 23, 2019