Biola Brad (noun):
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
Biola Brad strikes again—he just fumbled a perfectly good conversation with a Biola Betty by talking about his fantasy football league.”
by ChapleChronicler February 19, 2025
Get the Biola Bradmug. heyy you know Brad Whitehouse?
"yeah hes Awesome"
Not Awesome, Fucking Awesome"
you know Jake Thompson?
"yeah hes Awesome to"
"yeah hes Awesome"
Not Awesome, Fucking Awesome"
you know Jake Thompson?
"yeah hes Awesome to"
by ImNotGod December 4, 2011
Get the Brad Whitehousemug. by fatcuntbrad December 14, 2018
Get the Brad Rockettmug. Brad is the strongest dude you will ever meet. He has the UTMOST respect for his sisters and ALWAYS looks out for them. If one of his MANY sisters gets a boyfriend, Brad thoroughly checks the guy over with his fists.
Brad keeps the bad guys at bay and will one day become President of the Moon.
Good job, Brad! Keep on keeping on!
Brad keeps the bad guys at bay and will one day become President of the Moon.
Good job, Brad! Keep on keeping on!
by KuntrayQueen December 30, 2019
Get the Bradmug. by OZZYBOYAWESOME October 12, 2018
Get the bradmug. by Hispano04 January 29, 2020
Get the brad flynnmug.