Preventative Masturbation

The act of a married, or romantically committed, Man pleasuring himself regularly so as to eliminate the temptation of being unfaithful.

If I didn't do some Preventative Masturbation, I would be chasing after every skank in the neighborhood.

by Niems04 January 9, 2014

Textual Masturbation

When a person writes or types words, phrases, sentences, articles, and the like for the sole purpose of self adulation. While similar to sexting, texual masturbation is primarily for the gratification of the person writing said text, as oppose to the one receiving or reading the text.

Can you believe he wrote an autobiography, that shit is pure Textual Masturbation ?!

by Lain of the Wired December 24, 2014

Cold Masturbation

You use a masturbator, hand, dildo, etc. that you or someone intentionally make the thing your masturbating with extremely cold. Then you masturbate with it, typically giving a orgasmic shivering nut.

Cold Masturbation is the best kind of masturbation!!!

by TioKilo December 3, 2018

The Masturbation Station

the heating plant

A lot of weird things happen at the Masturbation Station.

by Thurston June 18, 2003

preferred masturbation toy

A guy's preferred masturbation toy can be another dude's asshole or mouth that he fucks and uses to get his rocks off.

I think my asshole and mouth are Matt's preferred masturbation toys!

by USAF Cadet July 15, 2021

Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.

See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.

by gordon getty November 13, 2011

Dirty Rattus Masturbation

The act of cutting off the head of a rat and "neck-fucking" it. The term rattus comes from the latin meaning of the rat family. It is best to masturbate this way in an apartment and/or tenant infected with rats. People do this because the insides (blood and guts) of a rat feel like the next closest thing to a woman's vagina. In Dirty Rattus Masturbating, there is no need to disinfect the rat. If you would like to disinfect the rat, please look up "Sterilized Rattus Masturbating".

"I was staying at a cheep hotel in New York City by myself and took it upon myself to Dirty Rattus Masturbate." (infinitive of Dirty Rattus Masturbation.)

by nilano's other friend February 6, 2009