One Wipe Tuesday

This is to be celebrated on the second Tuesday of every year. After taking a poop on this special day, you wipe your butt once, and only once. No exceptions. It doesn’t matter how large or smelly the poop is, you only wipe once.

Brett: Oh my god! Why do you smell like shit?!
Cameron: It’s one wipe Tuesday! Don’t tell me you’ve been wiping more than once!

by blaneficker January 13, 2021

Waste basket wipe

When going for #2 and no toilet paper is available you use dirty kleenex for the waste basket

Was at Adam's the other night had to shit so bad he didn't have any tp so I didn't have a choice but waste basket wipe.

by Mike Stabb August 23, 2016

Lyrical Ass-wipe

A person who pretends to like music based on the musical quality, when truly they just like the song because the words are catchy or semi-funny.

LA-w "Dude, I really enjoy Poker Face by Lady Gaga for the quality of the electro-synchronization."
Me "quit being such a lyrical ass-wipe"

by TrickyDick69er February 04, 2010

ghetto wet wipe

When you have a raw asshole or you're just environmental so you fold some TP over 3 times and put a little spittle on it to wipe your ass with a moist cloth rather than raw TP.

Wet wives clog the drains, even the flushable ones, so I use the ghetto wet wipe.

by brosefballin February 25, 2020

one-wipe wonder

the rare occasion when you take a shit and only have to wipe once

Friend: well you weren't in there for long
Me: it was a one-wipe wonder

by Rammit Inmah Asshol May 18, 2017

One Wipe Wonder

A poop that only requires one wipe to fully clean

Person1: I have an appointment in 5 minutes but I really have to crap!

Person2: Go quick! Hopefully it will be a one wipe wonder

by Evered June 03, 2014

1000 Square Wipe

When you take a huge shit that requires a lot of toilet paper squares.

Tom: Sorry Jerry I missed the game, I had to take the 1000 Square Wipe

by DNJosh January 28, 2021