pie toweling

When a man unzips his pants and drapes his balls out the zipper hole.

Tad was pie toweling the entire party. He really disturbed the women.

by AliceDane April 29, 2020

Towel-Shank

The act of wrapping up a towel then smaking someone with it.

Don't make me towel-shank you

by Tavi/PinkPowderCandy April 1, 2024

Wet paper towel

The wet paper towel is an annoying phrase in UK schools. Particularly middle and primary. That feeling when you tell your teacher to go call the nurse because you have got a really sore leg and the nurse just gives you a WET PAPER TOWEL and expects it to be better is just so unbelievable.

Miss can you call the nurse?

Nurse comes...
My leg hurts

Nurse gives wet paper towel. bye!!
Me in head: how tf...

by What ya dickhead July 26, 2024

towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017

Need a towel

So excited you get wet and need a towel to clean up

Patient: Doc how was my procedure?
Doc: it went so well good that I need a towel!

by TushT June 8, 2018

Towel scrubbing

The act of using half a hollowed out cucumber as a dick sheath and the other half as an anal dildo while motioning as if drying your taint with a towel.

All this towel scrubbing has used up all my cucumbers

by Cucumber sheath June 11, 2018

Woody Towel

A woody towel is the bar rag male bartenders tuck in the front of the britches supposedly for wiping off their hands. In reality it is to cover their "wood" as in "I would love to..." when face to face with a hottie or face to flesh with a pair of mounds more than a mouthful. It conveniently covers the bulge, re-adjustment, as well as subtle massage in an inconspicious manner under the guise of wiping one's hands.

With the nipples pressing to escape the fabric in front of the bartender's eyes, the bar rag in the back pocket was subtley switched to the front, thus becoming a woody towel.

by BigRedBeast May 13, 2011