turd hearse

A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.

"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."

by oldgeezer March 6, 2010

Turd Smoker

A smoker of turds, and such; a person who enjoys the taste of rolled feces.

Man, that JJSINC is a real turd smoker.

by thefunkyfeelone August 22, 2018

Turd Dangler

Someone who lets their terds dangle when they are crapping, either on purpose or because they are generating more power to keep pushing and dont want to cut it just yet.

Omar:Dude the other day Frankie sent me a picture of a turd hanging out of his ass.

Gino: Lol Frankie is such a turd dangler

by ginomacdaddy November 9, 2011

Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.

This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.

by mythirdeye006 May 16, 2011

Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.

Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"

by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010

Turd Alchemy

An unproven, purely theoretical construct that the psychological disorder known as Golden Turd Syndrome is based on, which is the idea that one’s shits are “golden” and that one is a human god and therefore can do no wrong and should not be confined by the laws that apply to others.

Turd Alchemy is the underlying irrational and pervasive pseudoscientific delusion responsible for the ongoing deification of Trump and his cronies by so many of today’s Republicans.

by Dr Bunnygirl September 22, 2022

turd squeezer

An alternative way of saying asshole. Typically this term is used to describe an individual who may very well be an asshole, but at the same time they are not worthy of your top shelf profanity.

Brian is just a useless turd squeezer. Not an asshole, because asshole would insinuate that , while having a shitty attitude, he actually tries to be a productive member of society.

by 23rd Chromosome April 6, 2016