Perfume on a Turd

When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."
by desertcajun September 12, 2008
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turd searching

Throwing up in the toilet, with one's head over the bowl as if one was searching for excrement.
Joe: Hey where did Tyler go?

Tom: He's turd searching after trying the hour of power. Give him some time
by Mike LaTorrez January 03, 2013
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turd swirl

The tasty looking chocolate colored drawing crap makes as it takes it's playful last swim through the toilet bowl.
What's up with the turd swirl dude? Don't they have bowl brushes in Canada?
by Webster the great May 08, 2009
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service turd

a waiter, waitress, or other retail worker who has a bad attitude or bad service.
My waitress at Olive Garden last night was a service turd. she took my menu before I had ordered!
by professionalpotato April 17, 2016
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turd mentality

the mental state of someone who cannot articulate the difference between herd immunity and herd mentality
President Trump displayed another shining moment of turd mentality when speaking about COVID this week.
by Slamb Doctor September 16, 2020
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Turd Alchemy

An unproven, purely theoretical construct that the psychological disorder known as Golden Turd Syndrome is based on, which is the idea that one’s shits are “golden” and that one is a human god and therefore can do no wrong and should not be confined by the laws that apply to others.
Turd Alchemy is the underlying irrational and pervasive pseudoscientific delusion responsible for the ongoing deification of Trump and his cronies by so many of today’s Republicans.
by Dr Bunnygirl September 22, 2022
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Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.
After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.
by Lueckmans November 09, 2009
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